Disclaimer: This article contains some graphic depictions of doo-doo and is not for the faint of stomach.
One of the great things about visiting Thailand is that everything is so cheap. Especially if you want to buy souvenirs for a lot of people, it’s a very shopping friendly country. However, even with these low prices, travelers are still faced with the dilemma of what to get loved ones.
You don’t want to spend your whole vacation picking out the perfect gifts but you also don’t want to be like your aunt Grace who gave you a lame souvenir spoon from her trip to the Grand Canyon last year.
Luckily we stumbled upon a toy store in Thailand that lets you confront your fear of buying a crappy present by selling literal pieces of crap. Small coilers will run you about 50 baht (US$1.60) but a larger log will cost 150 baht ($4.80).
As you probably suspected by now these are not genuine bowel movements, rather fake novelty poops made of synthetic materials. What sets these joke-turds apart though, is the exquisite detail that must have gone into making them.
Upon close inspection you can see that each turd has subtle differences – like snowflakes. We can only assume that these pieces of excrement are meticulously crafted, not just dumped out on some assembly line like a piece of… never mind.
The only criticism of these poop replicas is their color. The big piece has a very yellowish tinge to it whereas the smaller piece seems rather red. This is either a sign of rampant liver problems in Thailand or a subtle political message.
Either way, if you want some cheap souvenirs that people will remember you for, just grab a heaping bagful of crap. It’s also a great way to see how closely airport security in your country is paying attention.
▼From a distance this looks like your typical toy store.
▼But upon closer inspection they have a pile of crap hanging from a wire. It’s so shocking you probably didn’t notice the weird penis god to the left of it, did you?
▼Here’s the smaller kind, appropriately placed near the baby goods.
▼And conveniently placed over Mickey’s sheet music. Guess the owner’s not a fan of his music.
▼A store worker unties the turds to give me a better look.
▼Imagine coming across this while you’re shopping.
▼“Choose the one you like.” the salesman casually says. Clearly he’s worked there too long.
▼Fake turds don’t get more realistic than this.
▼Add a little spritz of water to really freak people out.
▼It’s pretty light and springy.
▼There’s a really big gap between the two sizes.
▼You’d be better to splurge on the 150 baht model. It’s more dung for your baht.
[ Read in Japanese ]