It’s hard to imagine what goes on inside Japanese high schools without setting foot inside of one, and even if you’re able to do that, sometimes it’s hard to decipher what’s happening in front of your eyes.
Nonetheless, high school is high school, right? Playing with abandon on the field or court with your sports team, teen romances that run hot and cold, and a host of other universal events unfold at your typical co-ed secondary school.
Within the gates of the Japanese all-boys high school, however, lies a world beyond comprehension. It can be both humorous and painful, proper and vulgar. Let’s take a look at 50 things you would find in the typical Japanese all-boys high school.
#1: Boys everywhere you look.
#2: Smelly classrooms.
#3: Bathrooms that reek of cigarettes.
#4: Saggy pants . . .
#5: . . . that disappear in the summertime as students strip to their skivvies.
#6: Teachers that haul off and punch students – for real.
#7: Students fight with their homeroom teachers – for real.
#8: The judo club advisor is the strongest teacher.
#9: Students have no problem doin’ Number Two in the school bathroom.
#10: General apathy.
#11: Not much participation in clubs and sports.
#12: A steady rate of dropping out and frequent suspensions.
#13: Nobody expects students to follow school rules.
#14: Students cut class without a second thought.
#15: A majority of students are sleeping during class hours.
#16: Students who try to come out of their shell and mask the junior high geek within are outed inside a week.
#17: Each class has at least one or two gay students.
#18: Each class has at least one or two thugs.
#19: Some of the bad boys are already on the criminal level.
#20: But there really isn’t any bullying.
#21: The bad boys do pick real fights like the kind you see in manga.
#22: But you don’t see fights with students from other schools like you do in manga.
#23: Each class has a good balance between bad boys and nerds.
#24: Bad boys and nerds generally get along well.
#25: Heck, everyone loves nerds, even the bad boys. It’s the guys on the fence that get dumped on.
#26: Tough guys come in with a hard exterior, but they open up with smiles by the second semester.
#27: Bad boys turn into good boys on the baseball field.
#28: All boys turn into pro wrestlers on the judo mats.
#29: All-boys high schools are the birthplace of many a friendship.
#30: But nobody keeps in touch after graduation.
#31: Students are starving for females.
#32: They are on their best behavior during the Culture Festival (Open House) because they know that girls from other schools will visit.
#33: They never meet girls, so they don’t have girlfriends.
#34: Even not-so-good-looking female teachers get the royal treatment.
#35: Students get excited when someone has the guts to ask sexually inappropriate questions to female teachers.
#36: They are stunned when their co-ed school friends say things like, “I see up so many skirts at school that I’m tired of looking.”
#37: All the deprivation makes them want to look up skirts even more.
#38: So they take to using mirrors to do it when a female teacher is patrolling the classroom.
#39: It gets to the point where they have an abnormal response to clothing and personal items used by schoolgirls . . .
#40: . . . in part because they wouldn’t know what to do if they actually came into contact with one.
#41: There is rampant lending and borrowing of dirty magazines and DVDs.
#42: It is not uncommon for a very attractive female teacher to get knocked up by a male student too suave for his saggy pants. The female teacher then “retires.”
#43: Nothing but boys at the Sports Festival.
#44: Nobody really wants to mess with anyone else for fear of what might happen.
#45: Students bought the baseless lie that all-boys high schools are cool.
#46: Students bought the baseless lie that they get to speed date with students from all-girls high schools every day.
#47: Students deeply regret that they ended up in an all-boys high school.
#48: The place begins to feel like a jail.
#49: But when push comes to shove, they have incredible cohesiveness.
#50: And they think to themselves, “You know what? This is fun.”