The inability to understand women is a struggle shared universally by men across the world. Luckily, our friends at Omokoro have put together a detailed report titled “A Simple Approach to Understanding Women” that should offer some insightful help to the clueless male masses.
Our full translation of the report follows below.
For a man, knowing what a woman is thinking is no easy task; as the old saying goes, women are as fickle as autumn weather.
Certainly many of you men have felt frustrated or even scared after thinking you understood your partner’s intentions only to end up fighting for reasons you can’t comprehend.
Today we’d like to share with you, our readers, a simple yet sure-fire approach to understanding women.
To demonstrate, we have called upon the help of 27-year-old Tokyo resident Kato (pictured above).
And now, without further ado, we’d like to have Kato introduce our simple method for understanding women:
That’s right! Miniskirts!
Wearing a miniskirt enables us men to understand the multitude of hardships faced by women in their day-to-day lives, allowing us to knock on the door of the female heart.
We’re going follow Kato around as he spends the day in a miniskirt.
Kato, that sensation you felt after putting on the miniskirt? That’s the emotion of the female heart.
“…so this is the ‘female heart’…”
That’s right! You catch on quick!
Kato tells us that he’s meeting up with someone later in the day and plans on killing time in a café until then.
“Women take coffee breaks too, right?”
It sounds like Kato is ready to start the day with a good attitude! Moments later…
He’s having a rest on the third floor near the window ♪
But wait! Is that what I think it is…?
It is! Kato has only been in a miniskirt for several minutes and we’ve already got a sexy panty shot! （^^;）
Lesson 1: For women, even the simple act of having coffee at Starbucks is laden with risks as sitting near the window could result in an unexpected peep show!
“I never imagined you’d be able to see my panties from below… I’m so embarrassed.”
It’s a learning process, Kato.
It’s almost time for Kato’s meeting, so we head to the train station after our short rest when suddenly…
Lesson 2: For women, even the simple act of crossing an overpass is laden with risks as walking up the stairs could result in an unexpected peep show!
Hey readers! Don’t you dare “right-click/save as” now, you hear!?
Uh-oh! It looks like Kato has caught on to our wandering eyes and is holding down his skirt with his hands!
“Now I know why women always hold down their skirts when they walk up stairs with people behind them. I always thought they were overreacting—that no one is actually looking, but now I understand that it’s simply embarrassing to have your panties exposed.”
It seems that Kato is rapidly developing a feminine aura as his understanding the female mind deepens. You go girl!
Next, Kato sits on the train on route to his afternoon engagement.
All that worrying about his panties being exposed seems to have left Kato exhausted, and he begins nodding off in the train with his legs spread out comfortably.
Lesson 3: For women, even the simple act of riding a train is laden with risks as falling asleep exhausted from all those unexpected peep shows could result in an unexpected peep show!
You see women like this on the train from time to time, but we never understood why they were so exhausted until now! It’s from worrying about panty exposure!
After arriving at his destination, Kato heads to a meeting with the Omokoro editorial staff.
Kato sits on the sofa, listening intently to Deputy Editor Makinoyuki’s newest idea when…what’s this!? More fan service!? What happened to the self-conscious young man holding down his skirt from before!?
Lesson 4: For women, even the simple act of attending a business meeting is laden with risks as becoming too absorbed in your work could result in an unexpected peep show!
“We had a competition to measure the academic ability of the Omokoro staff before, so how about having a measurement of physical fitness this time?”
“That’s a good idea! In that case, how about…”
Absorbed in the meeting, Kato spreads his legs even wider.
“What do you think Chief Editor Harajuku? How about having a sumo match to decide the strongest writer at Omokoro?”
Kato’s suddenly face darkens…but what could be wrong?
Kato realized that Harajuku wasn’t listening to his proposal but instead staring straight at his panties! He’s developed that feminine sense that alerts women when men are staring where they shouldn’t be!
(But honestly, who could blame Harujuku for looking?)
Harajuku and Kato step outside to have a trial round of sumo before the actual competition. The two seem evenly matched in height and stature! Will Kato’s youthful edge give him the upper hand!? Or will he be no match for the battle-hardened Chief Editor Harajuku!?
Assume the position! Faces forward!
…wait!? Harajuku, where are you looking!? It is the sad nature of man that causes his eyes to wander to places they shouldn’t time after time.
Referee Makinoyuki is also drawn to the smell of treasure and comes sniffing from behind!
This is the sight that greeted the curious Maikonoyuki. His eyes met with Harajuku’s and the two exchanged slight nods of understanding.
…back to reality: let the games begin!
Harajuku gets his hands on Kato’s waist first but fails to get a sturdy grip as Kato’s skirt slides up his soft upper body!
But Harajuku repositions his hands to get a firm grip on Kato’s panties! The lucky bastard!（><）
The two are caught in a stalemate, sounding out each other’s next move and waiting for the opportune moment to make their next move…
What’s this!? Kato’s right left lifts off the ground…
And it’s in the air!!
Kato staggers trying to maintain his balance!
Harajuku strengthens his grip on Kato’s panties and pulls upward!
HARAJUKU IS THE WINNER!
CONCLUSION: For women, even the simple act of participating in an in-house sumo competition is laden with risks as being thrown to the ground by your boss could result in an unexpected peep show!