Daifuku are a traditional Japanese confection composed of a soft mochi rice cake stuffed with a sweetened red bean paste called anko, and is one of the most popular sweets in Japan.

While nothing beats freshly made daifuku from one of those small mom-and-pop shops, you can still get some pretty tasty packaged specimens from convenience stores or supermarkets.

For example, we recently heard that one such brand of daifuku offered at 7-Eleven convenience stores are the same softness as a woman’s breast.

What? Taste? Did you not read the sentence above? 7-Eleven sells mochi that feels like boobs. Who cares about taste?

These mammary daifuku are formally known as “Goku Funwari Cream Daifuku Uji Matcha” (“goku funwari” means “extremely fluffy”) and are available at 7-Eleven stores in the Kanto, Tokai, Hokuriku and Hyogo regions. If you don’t live in one of the above regions, regular “Cream Daifuku Uji Matcha” are said to substitute well.

As many of us here at RocketNews24 have only dreamed of feeling the softness of a real woman’s bosom, we jumped at the opportunity to educate ourselves with these tasty treats. After all, buying daifuku at the convenience store is much cheaper than actually paying a woman to let you touch her breasts—and they taste better too!

One daifuku is hardly large enough to emulate a woman’s breast, so we went ahead and bought 14, which we then piled onto two round plates. Placing the stacks of daifuku side-by-side made them look even more like a woman’s chesticles. For some reason our palms started to sweat up.

So do they actually feel like breasts? Since we don’t want to delude ourselves with misconceptions of the female body, we had one of our “experienced” reporters give them a test squeeze first:

“They really feel like breasts! I’m pretty sure this is what my girlfriend back in college felt like.”

Another one of our reporters commented: “I’ve been with a woman who felt like this. I wonder how she’s doing these days… Maybe I’ll give her a call later. The daifuku? Yeah, they feel good. Definitely the same as breasts.”

The rest of us took turns fondling the piles of glutinous rice cakes, some of us doing our best to maintain our composure, while others asked for about 5 minutes of privacy. Indeed, “Goku Funwari Cream Daifuku Uji Matcha” feel as soft as we had always imagined a woman’s chest to be!

If you decide to try this at home, please note that you may need to fondle the daifuku for several minutes until they reach body temperature.

After everyone in the office had their turn, we passed around the ravaged daifuku for a taste test. Unsurprisingly, the daifuku were incredibly soft, pleasantly sweet and seemed to melt away in our mouth, but that may have been from all the fondling.

Photo: RocketNews24

▼”C…c…can I touch it? O…okay…I’m going to touch it…”

▼”Oh! It really feels like boobs!”

▼It’s time for some breast augmentation…

▼Knocking it up to a G-cup!

▼The blindfold test

▼We could do this all night!

▼Ahnn~ You’re making my red bean stick up!

▼Forever alone…

▼Slightly tattered, completely delicious!
[ Read in Japanese ]