“I like this guy… but is he suitable for marriage?” This is one of the most important questions Japanese women ask themselves in considering a life time mate. Marriage can be daunting even in the best of circumstances, so it’s crucial to have some assurance you’re making a good choice when deciding on that special person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Otome Sugoren, a website featuring articles on love, relationships and marriage, surveyed its female readers to get these results. The reporter who compiled the info and wrote the article is a Japanese woman herself, so you can be sure of its authenticity! Here are the top nine things Japanese women check out when Looking for a suitable marriage partner:
1. Does he have a ‘mother complex’? – If he puts his mother before the love of his life, sound the sirens! Of course any woman wouldn’t give a man who puts ‘Mama’ first the time of day! If you did marry him you’d have a mouthy mother-in-law trying to tell you what to do. He most certainly has to have won his independents from his mother.
2. Is there any lingering dust from past relationships? – A sure sign of trouble lurking after marriage would be the un-severed ties of loose ends. Former girlfriends should be tucked away in the memory somewhere, out of harms way. No contact with them no matter how innocent, or there will be misunderstandings.
3. Does he like to gamble? - If he has hidden debts and can’t resist a bet, beware! A man who gets carried away enough to put a dent in his finances from gambling needs to be avoided. Some of the women surveyed said they would turn a blind eye if he kept his monthly gambling losses minimal, say to no more than $200 a month.
4. How does he handle his liquor? – Abnormal behavior when drunk, especially physical violence is not acceptable. If he changes into a monster when he drinks then forget it! Some women feel such a loss of control is unforgivable. If this kind of drinking is his main stress relief, then he should really take up a sport instead.
5. Does he live within his means? - If he drives a fancy car he can’t afford, or has to buy brand named goods that are out of his price range, then it is time to look elsewhere. If you marry him, you will always be fighting to make ends meet. The exception being that he may have an expensive item which is well-worn and which he takes good care of , in which case it means he is careful with things precious to him.
6. Does he intend to help with house hold chores, and when kids come along will he help out with them? – If he has the attitude that housework is women’s work then he is still in the dark ages. He has to show that he is willing to help out at home. Even if he still lives at home he would be wise to show that he has interest in helping to live in a clean house, eat good food, and wear clean clothes.
7. Does he have a hidden stash of manga figurines in his closet? – That kind of otaku is too much. It sends creepy chills down the spines of many women to think of that level of mania. If he can’t live without those figurines, then he’d better get them out of the closet so that the woman can get used to them—and maybe even appreciate their value.
8. Will he be able to survive hard times? – If he is laid off work does he have some money put aside to live on? The poor economy is nothing new, but it can’t be expected to improve suddenly. Women are looking for men who plan realistically for the future and have a plan B if plan A doesn’t pan out.
9. Does he have a past he is hiding? – If he has been married before, has kids and is hiding it then he is history. Hiding such important information only backlashes into mistrust. As two people get to know each other trust builds. A man can decide when the time is right to divulge such information so that the trust isn’t broken.
FYI- In Japan, it is normal for single adults, male or female, to live at home with their parents until they get married. Also women are most likely the finance managers in marriage. Looks like what women want is pretty outright and honest, very reasonable too, wouldn’t you say?
Source: Otome Sugoren