We are often presented with messages from beyond through the medium of food. Jesus, Mary, Mother Theresa have all spread the message of love through various baked goods around the world.
But clearly the mug appearing in this sliced bell pepper posted on Twitter ain’t one of those folks. Our researchers here at RocketNews24 can’t quite figure out exactly who their message to the world is, but here’s our best guesses.
1) Sloth from the Goonies
If this is indeed Sloth, then the presence of that lovable deformed yet superhuman brother of the Fratelli mob can’t only mean one thing: Love Chunk. Clearly we as a global society have forgotten about that plucky pudgy comic relief.
Chunk was portrayed by Jeff Cohen, who has considerably slimmed down since then and foregone acting for a career as a lawyer. Unfortunately this low profile lifestyle puts him in danger of not being loved by all. If the pepper is Sloth then this is surely his mission.
2) Rancor from Star Wars
This looks a lot like Rancor from Return of the Jedi, but it’s hard to say what message it would have for us if it is. It had no discernible dialog in the movie aside from “Gggghhhaaa!” and that weird wheezing noise it made when the door crushed it.
So like most religious spokespeople, I’m going to skew the Rancor’s message to suit my own and say it’s intended to tell George Lucas to stop making sucky new editions of the original Star Wars movies.
3) That kind of lame half-alien-half-human from Alien Resurrection
Although the newborn alien does usually look like a pepper cut in half, it doesn’t really look like this pepper. If by some chance it was that thing, it probably just wanted to ruin our day much like it did to the movie that this saggy breasted monstrosity appears in.
CHUDs have a lot to teach us about radioactive waste and issues dealing with the homeless, but being cannibalistic and appearing in a vegetable it would seem they are trying to persuade us to adopt a carnivorous lifestyle. A similar attempt was made by the most notorious CHUD of all, Dr. Atkins.
5) Mr. Sato
Looks like we have a clear match which is odd since Mr. Sato isn’t a prominent religious figure (yet) but he does possess the ability to consume lethal amounts of food in a single sitting. In fact it appears that since his recent attempt to consume a cheeseburger with 1000 slices of cheese he has achieved oneness with food.
He has chosen to use his new-found spiritual connection with the edible to, in his own words, “mess with people’s heads when I feel like it.”
Original Photo: Mikuron