When I was a high school student, my biology teacher – an ex-nurse – used to regale the class with tales from her time working in hospitals. It was then that I realized that nurses are treasure troves of bizarre stories, mostly involving foreign objects inserted into people’s own nether regions.
This story out of China, however, trumps all of her anatomical yarns in terms of absurdity and ability make you cringe.
According to Xinhua News, 34 year-old Mr. Wu, of Xianning city claimed he was “looking for pleasure” when he got the idea to insert a 10cm needle into his urethra, commonly referred to by medical professionals as your pee-hole.
The report didn’t specify, but at a length of 10cm I’d have to assume this was some sort of knitting needle unless Wu had access to medical supplies.
He managed the insert the needle up to 5cm deep. However, he was unable to remove it from there. None of his attempts, including urination, proved successful. When the pain became too much to bear he had no choice but to go to hospital.
However, his nearest hospital lacked the proper equipment for this particular problem, so he was sent to another facility in Wuhan city. By the time he was subjected to a urological exam his genitals were swollen and red – and not in the good way.
By 11pm that day, doctors could finally remove the needle with the aid of a cystoscope. Here’s a picture of a cystoscope so you can get a better idea.
It’s seems by treating the injury early, the damage to Wu’s urethra was not too severe. The doctor had also said “I’ve had cases of dirt and rope being inserted into genitals but so far this is the first person to stick a needle in their urethra.”
Before this story, I’d assume this went without saying but; Gentlemen (and ladies) don’t stick a needle – or anything for that matter – in your urethra. I’ve had a catheter before and it really, really sucks. In fact, if I had to think of the exact opposite of “pleasure” that would be it in a heartbeat.
Jeez, where’s Tenga Hero when you need them?