Here’s your Japanese vocabulary lesson for the day:
■ Chinpoji – Cheenpojee – [noun]
The perfect position for a man’s junk to rest in his underwear, pants, etc.
For men worldwide, to function normally we have to have our gear oriented in the correct position. If through moving or sitting we fall out of chinpoji, then our minds become clouded with neuroses.
According to a survey by Japanese underwear maker Wacoal, 75% of men “are anxious about the positioning of their ‘front parts.’” Not just the discomfort going on inside the pants; many men feel that their packages can be seen by people on the outside too when they’re out of place. This causes us to perform emergency public adjustments, which makes any woman within eyeshot go “ugghhh.” In the end no one wins.
Yahoo Japan’s R25 explored this issue deeper, seeking to discover if all men’s chinpoji are the same and, if so, ask a medical professional why. Here’s what they found.
In a survey they asked 300 men aged 25 to 39 what position their chinpoji is. Here are the preferred positions.
1 – Left (38.7%)
2 – Right (23.0%)
3 – Down (22.0%)
4 – Up (15%)
5 – Other (0.7%)
While “up” and “down” seems rather uncomfortable, the mind reels at what that 0.7% does. Straight out? Coiled? Over the shoulder?
Anyways, the results of the survey shows that male genitalia are just like snowflakes. There’s a lot of variety. But there does seem to be a lot of guys pointing to the left. Is there a reason for that?
R25 interviewed a medical professional who explained that there’s no medically determined cause, but he did have his own theory.
“Many men in Japan are right-handed and often use that hand for masturbation. Because of this, the penis is able to bend to the left more easily because of the repeated pressure applied from the right hand. So the genitals are likely to fall on the side opposite of the dominant hand.”
Although the doctor’s logic seems reasonable, he is the first to admit there are many other factors that come into play including size and shape as well as the style of clothing.
So it seems that guys vary widely on their chinpoji and the location is possibly related to going on a date with Palmela Handerson, but what can be done to prevent guys from falling out of their chinpoji?
Wacoal has developed a new style of underwear [pictured above] with the sole purpose of maintaining chinpoji. Called Posi-Fit, they are designed so that when you sit down or bend over there is no slack in your shorts, ensuring Willy doesn’t get free.
The price is a little steep at 3,675 yen (US$45) but how can you but a price on round-the-clock chinpoji?