The latest installment of the Animal Crossing series Animal Crossing: New Leaf was released in Japan on 8 November and sold out across the country soon after. It was such a success that the president of Nintendo had to issue assurances via Twitter that more copies were on the way.
For those unfamiliar with the franchise, Animal Crossing is a game with no set objective. You simply exist as the only human in a quaint forest village of anthropomorphic animals. You live out your days there any way you want, fishing, landscaping, shopping, and so on.
For one man, the new game ushered in an age of darkness for his household. His wife had become a slave to the friendly sheep and dogs who inhabit Animal Crossing. Rather than spending time with her husband, she was fishing for a trout to trade to Tom Nook for a lava lamp.
Disheartened, the man took the last resort of the damned. The one place wretched souls go to for answers before giving up completely – Yahoo! Answers.
The man’s heartfelt plea went out across the internet:
My wife can’t leave Animal Crossing…
My wife loves Animal Crossing.
So yesterday at midnight she got a copy of the new Animal Crossing: New Leaf and started to play it.
When I got up the next morning she was still playing.
And as I was making breakfast and getting ready for work, she played on.
When I tried to talk to her she would just mumble ‘I love this game.’
The same day, when I returned from work in the afternoon, she was still playing.
Every time I asked her something she would just mumble back.
She is completely drawn into this game.
She cannot leave Animal Crossing (It’s an evil crossing)
I think this is unavoidable because my wife loves this game, but the situation now is terrible.
When do you finish this game?
How long does it take to beat it?
I want my old wife back as soon as possible.
Although it was only one day, this man’s situation must have been dire. Let this be a lesson to all the guys who complain that their women aren’t into video games.
But to turn to Yahoo! Answers…
Anytime I search for something and a website with “Answers” in the title shows up, I just sigh knowing the chance of getting real correct information is about 50-50. That’s not to say the correct answer isn’t in there. It’s usually just flooded with conflicting information and cut and paste Wikipedia articles most of the time.
However, in this case, a wonderful Animal Crossing Release Day miracle happened. Hundreds of people responded with overwhelmingly supportive and helpful tips to dealing with a wife who is an Animal Crossoholic.
Some recommended the man also get a copy of the game and join his wife via wireless connection. Others advised he look after her for the time being and offer eye drops regularly. One person gave the firm but fair approach recommending the man lay out rules to when she could play for her own sake.
Although it’s highly likely the original poster was just messing around and none of this is true, this is still one of those beautiful Yahoo Answers moments.
It’s also an important reminder that although Animal Crossing is fantastical utopia of human-animal coexistence that one never wants to leave, you have to make time for real life and those in it.
It reminds me of what the poet Lord Byron once said “The thorns which I have reap’d are of the tree I plan..” Oh shit, I’m late for K.K. Slider’s show.