According to a local Thai newspaper, a 50-year-old man has had his penis surgically removed after the tissue became cancerous as a result of repeatedly injecting it with olive oil.

The man, along with three male friends, had been injecting himself with the oil for as long as 19 years after hearing that it could help increase the size of his penis.

He was very, very wrong…

The unnamed man underwent the operation to have his penis removed on November 7 after tests revealed that the cancer had spread through much of the tissue.

He is believed to have become concerned about the condition of his gland as much as three years ago when he noticed that it had become discoloured, but found that he was able to wash much of the strange colour away and chose to ignore the rest.

Unfortunately for him, the unusual colour was just one of the signs that his penis had become cancerous.

“I’m just glad that this ended with the removal of my penis,” said the man in an interview with a local newspaper, lucky to escape with his life.

Fortunately, the cancer was limited to just the man’s gland and had not spread to his prostate, which is known to be one of the biggest killers of adult males in recent times.

A local doctor took the opportunity to address the media regarding the bizarre practice of injecting olive oil in order to stimulate growth, saying: “There is no medical procedure that can increase the size of your penis. Injecting things into it can also cause erectile dysfunction and should be avoided.”

Hear that, kids? You can’t make your wand any bigger! And if the cost of trying to do it is losing the thing completely, it’s probably better just to be happy with what your parents gave you, right?

According to the report, as many as 30-40 Thai men undergo treatment each month for a variety of infections after injecting olive oil into their penises, which is easily obtained and costs very little.

Those poor, poor olives. They all thought they were going to be in a salad…

Source: Nikkan Sports Inset image: HCP