You see it at almost any busy shopping mall, nightclub or bar: long lines of women waiting to use the toilet, playing with their phones or staring directly ahead in a vain attempt to hide the fact that they’re worried what might happen if they have to wait much longer, all the while watching us guys stroll by and enter the men’s room with minimal fuss.
“You men are so lucky! You can pee standing up!” my female friends often cry.
Well, yes, we can. And now, thanks to the world’s newest beginning superpower, so can you!
For men, the process of peeing in a public restroom is quick and simple and can be done in a matter of seconds: step forward, whip the old chap out and do the business. Spuds drained, pop Percy back in the pants and you’re done.
Given a little cubicle of our own, we too would probably faff about checking our email, fixing our hair or whatever it is that you girls do in there, but we have no such luxury. With a line of men standing mere feet behind us burning holes into the backs of our heads with their eyes, we do what needs to be done and get out of there.
Thanks to Chinese innovation, the ladies’ room is about to get a lot speedier!
As you can see in the above image, these are no regular stalls. The reason the doors look like something from a wild west saloon is because the toilets inside are not designed to be sat on; behind those doors are regular men’s urinals that must be peed into from a standing position.
That’s right, you girls are about to live the dream! For generations we men have been keeping the ancient technique to ourselves, but it is time for you to know its magic. Welcome.
Of course, you’ll need a little artificial assistance to get the job done, and that’s where the paper funnel device pictured above comes into play.
Simply slip the wide end (for the love of god make sure it’s the wide end!) between your legs, tilt your hips forward and let ‘er rip! It might sound a little bit disturbing at first, but we think that once you’ve tried it for yourselves you’ll never go back to the old technique and will be nodding along the next time a male member of your household says “maybe we should get a urinal installed in the bathroom.”
Of course, this time-saving technique comes with one small drawback: from now on whenever you enter a regular stall, every woman waiting in line will know why. They might never say it out loud, but as soon as you close that door behind you, they’ll all be thinking the exact same thing: “She’s doing a poo…”
Good luck, ladies!