Hey guys and gals do you want to get down and dirty with our stable of sexy pandas? Ting-Ting was a promising med student keeping herself modestly covered by thick fur. But after injuring her leg heli-skiing and getting her lower half shaved she is ready to get wild with you for just $5.95 a minute.
Ting-Ting enjoys chewing bamboo shoots and scratching herself. Her turnoffs include aggressive drivers and movies with a sad ending.
Let’s listen to a sample conversation with a satisfied caller:
Oh Ting-Ting, you got me so hot right now.
Me? I’m about 5’10 with blond hair.
[heavy breathing] Wwoof.
Oh god, you dirty girl. What are you wearing?
… … [rubs nose on the phone] …
Tempted? Well, don’t wait. Hurry to the phone and dial 1-979-SEXY-PANDA. Just because they refuse to mate with each other, doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to get with you!
***First minute charges are $25.95 followed by $5.95 each additional minute. Charges apply directly to your credit card and will be listed as Pink Panda Porno Party Inc. on your receipt.
Warning: the original website has the true story involving images of panda surgery, not sexy at all, but probably interesting to veterinarians