Finally you can put awesome power of giant battle robots in the palm of your hand— or around the palm of your hand—with GIANT ROBOT BATTLE FISTS. Now available in Japan! Sounds like the perfect Christmas gift to me!

So let’s imagine on Christmas morning, you open a box of brand new Giant Robot Battle Fists. Your mind races with dreams of the carnage you can now inflict on your enemies.

You slip them on. You’re equipped and powered up. Finally you can crush the jaw of that guy in accounting who always takes your coffee cup, right?

NO!!!!

Punching anyone or anything with Giant Robot Battle Fists is VERBOTEN! They are for entertainment purposes only and because they’re inflatable, you’ll probably quickly end up with Saggy Robot Battle Fists.

But since they’re inflatable, they can be used for flotation devices in the event of a flash flood or accidental fall overboard, right?

NO!!!!

Giant Robot Battle Fists, while inflatable, should not be relied on as lifesaving flotation devices. They weren’t designed for that… or battling.

But since we all know that robots are superior at Rock Paper Scissors you can now crush the competition, right?

NO!!!!

Weren’t you reading? Rock Paper Scissors is a form of battling, and Giant Robot Battle Fists are not designed for battle of any nature.

So what can you do with them?

The real purpose of Giant Robot Battle Fists is to make you feel like a giant robot. And giant robots ain’t afraid a nuttin’! Right, Makiko?

That’s right. You’ll marvel at how ordinary household items now seem puny and insignificant in your mighty robot hands.

Got a drinking problem? No? Well, you will when you’re wearing Giant Robot Battle Fists!

These inflatable fists of limited destruction are sold online by ThinkGeek, the site that brought us novelties such as the gummy iPhone case. In Japan, Giant Robot Battle Fists can be purchased from Rakuten for 3,971 yen (US$48) which should come to 7,942 yen (US$96) after you break your first pair fighting with your cat.

You can also purchase a pair of fists bundled with the MegaStompPanic, which is a box that makes various sound effects as you move and walk, including, of course, “giant robot.”

Source: Rakuten via IT Media

If you’re outside of Japan you should probably check out ThinkGeek’s main website for robot gloves and other assorted weird things.