cucumber cash

Now there’s a quote you don’t read every day…

After reading a love and romance article over on our Japanese site, one regular reader and Japanese college student got in touch to voice her opinion. We receive lots or emails from our readers and are always glad to hear what they have to say, but when someone gets in touch and makes the shockingly frank statement “Rather than working in the sex industry and sucking hundreds of guys, it’s way more profitable to suck one nerd,” it certainly stops us in our tracks…

As regular readers will know, Japan’s sex industry has never been healthier. Every sexual desire under the sun (or cloud-covered moon, perhaps…) can be catered for in the country’s red light districts, and vast sums of money changes hands each night. The average sex worker in Japan is believed to make 30 – 50,000 yen (US$350 – 580) per day, but as well as having to engage with multiple, possibly stinky and massively ungentlemanly, male clients each night, it takes its toll on women both physically and mentally. Getting together with a well-off nerd, however, is far less demanding…

According to female RocketNews24 reader Yui (psuedonymn), an easy, lucrative life is just a matter of sleeping with one nerdy guy:

“Nerds don’t have any experience in love and romance, so if I have sex with them just once they’re mine from then on. All the money they’d been using on their hobby up until then comes my way instead.”

We’re torn between being disgusted and applauding her for her honesty.

But not just any nerd will do! According to Yui, game otaku (videogame nerds to you and me) often have low incomes and so are best left alone, but densha otaku (train nerds) and figure collectors are the most financially well-off and often become Yui’s prey when she’s hunting for a new man to take care of her.

For those of you out there who are able to lock your conscience in a padded room for a while and are looking for a man to splash the cash on you, Yui has some tips for the hunt:

- First, find a nerd who invests vast sums of money in his hobby.

- Train, model, figure and camera nerds are the ones with plenty of cash to burn.

- Videogame and animé nerds usually don’t have any money.

- As much as they love their hobby, sexual desires will come first. Take him to bed once and he’ll favour sex every time.

- With this in mind, any man who spends lots of money on sexy figures is a sure-fire goldmine.

But, isn’t she just laughing at these gullible nerds behind their backs? How can we have anything but contempt for this girl? Our reporter challenged Yui with the question on everyone’s lips: How do you sleep at night?

“I’m not making fools of these guys. The guys I date want to be in the company of women, they’re happy and they feel good when they’re with me. In return, they spend a lot of money on me. It’s a win-win situation. If I don’t like their company, I won’t date them, so it’s not just about the money.”

But with four guys all spending their money on her at this very moment and no doubt hoping that Yui’s all theirs, we can’t help but wonder just how pleased they’d be to know that they’re not the only ones neglecting their once-loved hobby.

Title image edited by RocketNews24