On the subject of love, marriage and relationships, Japan’s My Navi News carried out a survey late last year in which it asked 905 regular readers to share their pet peeves and relationship deal breakers. Rather than focusing on a partner’s merits, readers were asked to list the points that would turn them off or cause them to rule out the idea of marriage altogether. A relationship hate list, if you will.
Dividing the responses by sex, there were some surprising – and some not so surprising – replies. Dozens of tips for singletons and plenty for those already in relationships to bear in mind after the break.
Given a free rein to list the things that really turn them off, My Navi News’ readers let rip with the things that they find the most undesirable in a partner. First, let’s take a look at what the girls had to say.
- “I could never marry a guy like this!” The ladies’ opinions
My younger brother’s a NEET [no education, employment or training]. I can’t bear the thought of settling down with someone like that and having to shoulder all of the financial responsibility. (32)
A man with a low income. If he doesn’t have money he’s not even worth considering. (69)
A guy who’s overly fussy about his food. If we were to marry, I think he’d be too critical of my cooking. (25)
Someone who only thinks about themselves. I couldn’t marry someone who has no interest in hearing what others have to say. (30)
Men who make a point of saying how they’re “herbivores” and never approach women. (23)
Guys who still like to be fussed over by their mothers who are always butting in. Absolutely no way. (29)
A narcissist. It would be physically draining to be with someone who is always obsessed with how they look. (29)
Bad kissers. (26)
A man who earns less than me. When it comes to raising kids, money is important; I need more financial security. (25)
Someone who drops trash on the street, or who smokes while walking around outside. (34)
I couldn’t marry someone who has no future prospects. A man who talks about things like opening a restaurant of their own, but who has no actual experience, isn’t the kind of person I could settle down with. (31)
I once dated a guy who got irritated with me for not arranging my shoes neatly when I took them off before entering his apartment. That kind of person would choke me. (29)
A man who smothers me emotionally. (32)
Plenty of women also suggested that they could never image settling down with men who discarded cigarettes in the street, or whose parents were unkind to them. “Being unable to provide financially” or “lacking drive and potential”, however, were among the most frequently mentioned undesirable character traits.
But what did the men have to say? Would they shun any woman who didn’t wear thigh-high boots or make duck face at every possible photo opportunity? Or would they simply favour a partner who has no qualms with them staying out late with their pals?
- “Not today, disco lady!” The guys’ responses
I wouldn’t marry a woman whose notion of the value of money differs to my own. I once spent a lot of time choosing a gift for a girl, but when I gave it to her, she maintained that it was too cheap and wasn’t in the slightest bit pleased. (40)
It’s impossible for me to imagine us making a happy family of our own if my partner doesn’t first get along with my family. (27)
Overly emotional or moody women. One minute she’s crying, the next she’s laughing. Five minutes later she’s sunk back down. That kind of person. (33)
A woman who likes drinking. I can’t stomach alcohol, so being with a woman who gets drunk and then starts acting silly kind of irks me. (44)
I couldn’t marry a smoker. People knowingly damaging their own body like that is a big turn off for me. (22)I can’t stand girls with big egos who deny my character. I’m pretty strong-willed so I don’t think I’d fit well with someone similar to me. (31)
A woman whose ideas about the future and family don’t match up with my own. After giving birth, I’d rather she take a few years off to take care of the kid. (26)
Big, round takoyaki [see below] cheeks! Unforgivable! (46)
Girls who don’t like the same foods that I do. (36)
Clingy women. Someone who reads all of my emails or checks up on me. I need a little privacy in my life! (27)
Messy girls who don’t tidy up. I just can’t see myself living with that kind of girl. (43)
Doesn’t do any housework. Smokes. Fashion queens who cover themselves in makeup. I want to marry a more family oriented girl. (27)
Serial cheaters. Even if we got married I’d always be anxious that she’d cheat on me. (28)
While some of these responses seem a little on the, shall we say “traditional”, side and place a lot of importance on things like housework and child-rearing, it’s good to see the guys at least thinking beyond “a great rack and good underwear”. It just goes to show: once a guy hits his mid 20s, all he really wants in a partner is someone who’ll help him build a warm, cosy love nest and who’ll leave his mobile phone alone. As for those round takoyaki cheeks, well, we think it’s quite cute, actually! Better silly poses than a po faced wife who never cracks a smile, anyway…
▼ Takoyaki hoppe or “octopus dumpling” cheeks. Cute or a turn-off?
Title image: The Pummelo