Since its creation five centuries ago at the hands of master sculptor Michelangelo, David has been ruffling feathers everywhere it goes in the world. Although David stands proudly among the masterpieces of fine art, some complain he’s being a little too proud.

The latest call for size XXXXXL underpants comes from some residents in the town of Okuizumo in Shimane Prefecture. According to Yomiuri Shinbun, numerous complaints have been coming in to the effect of “education and nudity don’t mix.”

As a result, the small town has been put under an international spotlight in the endless debate of David’s Doodad.

The statue in question was erected (stop laughing) in 2012 after it was donated to the Mitsunari Sports Park by Kazuo Wakatsuki, a retired construction company president, in an effort to class the place up.

His intention was to have the biblical hero watch over the residents of the town. However, for some, David’s watchful glare seemed more like the creepy glare of some guy peeking through his curtains bobbing up and down slightly.

Some Okuizumo residents have complained that he was “scary” and that someone should “throw some underpants on there.”

When the issue made news overseas and drew shock over this conservative streak found in Japan expressed in comments like “Wha…?” and “This is serious?” One commenter astutely stated “Japanese [erotic] anime is OK, but David isn’t?”

True enough, Japanese erotic art and pornography seem to reach unusual depths in terms of tentacles, gun penises, and alginate. Heck, in a few places I lived I would get ads with pictures of naked women in my mail box almost daily. Even temples enjoy a show in which a tengu pokes members of the audience with his bamboo phallus.

Nevertheless, a realistic image of genitalia is generally off limits in the country and usually replaced by big squares.

I fall on the side of those who feel, when viewed in the correct context, David is an excellent artistic achievement of expressing raw emotion through anatomy. However, I’m also opposed to this statue being there.

Japan is an earthquake prone country, so image you just happen to be strolling past when a magnitude-7 quake strikes and dislodges the bowling ball-sized penis and sends it crashing down on your head. Who wants to go out like that?

Or worse; what if the entire statue tips over during a quake and as you try to run away, David’s rock-hard rod thrusts itself through your back?

Mercy.

So rather than the issue of smut versus art, I oppose this statue on the grounds of protecting the public from an embarrassing death.

Source: Yomiuri, Okuizumo Da Yori, Okuizumo wo Genki ni! (Japanese), Mail Online (English)
Photo: RocketNews24
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