Regular Pencil Sharpeners Not Creepy Enough? There’s a Butt for That!

butt sharpener

Held just last weekend, Japan’s Wonder Festival is a place at which animé and video game fans gather to sell and show off their home-made “garage kit” creations and painstakingly made models of well-known characters. A craft fair for the nerdy, if you will.

Among the models of characters, people in costume and dudes with enormous swords, staff from one of Japan’s premier otaku websites Akiba Blog spotted this little curiosity- an oshiri enpitsu kezuri, or “butt pencil sharpener”. Just when you thought you had everything you needed.

Retailing for just 500 yen (US$5.40) each, these moulded posteriors allow those with blunt ends to sharpen up while creeping everyone else out.

butt sharpener lined up

The sharpener attaches to a stiff board featuring a simple manga-style image of a young lady on all fours looking back over her shoulder while wearing an expression of tremendous concern.

butt sharpener base

A pencil sharpener is then affixed to the board with what appears to be a bit of gray putty.

oshiri kezuri

This allows for proper pencil penetration. To any inexperienced young men reading this, we advise against the twisting method being employed in the below image. It will only end in tears for both parties.

nutt sharpener naked

But of course, the piece would not be complete without an enormous bottom attached to it to hide the sharpener away and give frustrated young men the tiniest of thrills each time they need to make their pencil pointy.

butt sharpener

It’s the butt itself, though, that worries us the most. Sure, it’s creepy and almost guaranteed to have your coworkers shudder whenever they look at you or simply refuse to speak to you anymore, but surely the designer could have gone the extra mile and produced a line of bottom-shaped sharpeners of a slightly more natural colour? I admit I haven’t been around the block that many times, but I’ve never seen a lady with a bottom quite so gray, and I grew up in England…