It’s a familiar coming-of-age scenario for many a young man. Things with the girlfriend are progressing well and it’s time to round third into the home plate. However, there are still condoms to get. How do you confront the judgmental gaze of the minimum wage cashier who in reality couldn’t care less what you’re up to?
One young Taiwanese lad at the tender age of 43 faced with this dilemma opted to steal a box of condoms rather than deal with the awkwardness of buying them legally, and as such has become international news.
According to Taiwanese media, one Mr. Li had entered a local supermarket on 29 April at approximately 9 p.m. with the intention of buying some condoms. As he explained at his trial, “in 43 years I never used them. I thought I’d try some out, but I was too embarrassed to buy them.”
Indeed Mr. Li noticed that far too many people were around for him to buy condoms comfortably. There was just no way he could bring himself to do it. Instead, he waited until no one was looking and slipped one box into his pocket.
To cover his tracks, Mr. Li bought some milk and paid for it before leaving the supermarket. It would have been a perfect crime had Mr. Li not underestimated the vigilant inventory practices employed at this particular shop.
That same evening, a worker noticed that a box of condoms was missing and immediately notified the police. After examining the surveillance footage, they found the suspect and arrested Mr. Li the next morning. His identification was made easy by the fact it was a small, local supermarket and that the man had a prior arrest on drug charges.
During the hearing the divorced Mr. Li was reportedly ordered to return the unopened box of ultra-thin condoms to the store having not been able to land a date the night before and “try them out.”
To all you 40-something men out there who are looking to take the next step with your post-divorce girlfriends, remember: safe sex isn’t just using condoms, it’s paying for them too. No run along and enjoy your Toto reunion concert, you little rascals.