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There’s something quite wonderful about the humble french fry. That combination of starch and grease, the crunchy outside and fluffy inside; it stimulates something deep in our reptile brains to create a tuber-induced euphoria. We could easily plow into and finish a new Mega Potato in one sitting; that’s child’s play. But there must be some upper limit to the amount of golden, crisp french fries one single human being can eat at one time, right? Right?!

It’s a question we felt morally obligated to answer. After all, the addictive qualities of these delicious little slices of heaven could, in fact, cause someone to literally eat until they fall over dead from potato poisoning. For the public good, we had to investigate.

Well, not us. We’re far too delicate for dangerous work like that. So, we found a 100 lb Japanese woman to take the challenge for us!

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In the name of science, we knew we had to lay out some ground rules: The large-size boxes would serve as our standard metric, there would be a two hour time limit, our subject would be required to consume the fries at the restaurant, and because we were literally paying her only in french fries, we decided to let her spice things up with whatever sauce McDonald’s keeps on hand if she got bored of the plain salted spuds. It was the least we could do for literally putting this poor woman’s life at risk.

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At the end of the two hours, our petite subject had downed eight large boxes of McDonald’s fries, or approximately 4,568 calories worth. She tells us she could have gone for 10, but when we saw her wild addict’s eyes and a slight shake in her hands, we knew she was on the verge of overdose and restrained her. “You’ve had enough,” we whispered, “You’ve had enough…”

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So, there you have it. The maximum human limit of french fry consumption is eight large boxes per 100 pounds of bodyweight. You can use whatever math equation to extrapolate what your limit would be and leave it in the comments. We’re all scienced out for one day.

Photo evidence of our investigation (with video following the pics):

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