So let’s talk about breasts. From a statistical and linguistic standpoint, of course.
Lingerie manufacturer Triumph has released its data regarding bra cup sizes of women in Japan. While this is obviously vital internal information for running a company that produces and sells intimate apparel for women, we’re not exactly sure of the benefits of releasing it to the general public, where it will undoubtedly garner the most attention from men, a demographic with no personal need for Triumph’s products.
Nevertheless, Triumph shared with us, and so now we’re here to share their findings with you. Note that cup sizes in Japan tend to be slightly smaller than their counterparts with the same designation in America. We mention this in the interest of full exposure…uh, we mean disclosure.
Since men already spend so much time thinking about breasts, our staff doctors have informed us it would be dangerous to deliberately draw the focus of our male readers even more to them without simultaneously doing something to expand their overall mental capacity. To that end, we’ll be introducing a number of breast-related Japanese vocabulary words as we go along. These may or may not show up again on the RocketNews24 final exam, so take notes.
A Cup – 8 percent
Starting off our tour of Japan’s mammary mounds, Triumph informs us that eight percent of Japanese women make up the most petite category, who are sometimes referred to as having hinyuu, or “impoverished breasts.”
B – 23.8 percent
One size up, and we see a considerable jump, as women with B cups made up the second-most populous segment.
The standard, textbook Japanese word for breasts is mune, which just like in English, is also used to talk about the cut of chicken.
C – 26.7 percent
More women than any other segment fell into this category, keeping with C cups being what many Japanese guys perceive as moderately-sized.
While we’re on the letter C, chichi is another term for breasts, and is the word for a cow’s udders, as well. Ironically, chichi is also the Japanese word for father, although the two are spelled with different kanji characters.
D – 22 percent
Moving into the realm of the well-endowed in Japan, 22 percent of women fell into this category.
A favorite of naughty kids and dirty old men, oppai combines admiration of the form with a feeling of immaturity on the part of the speaker, equivalent to “boobs” or “boobies” in English.
E – 12.8 percent
We see a sudden drop-off in our distribution curve, as the size of the E group is only slightly above 50% that of the D group.
The direct opposite of the above-mentioned hinyuu is hounyuu, or “bountiful breasts.”
F – 4.8 percent
As we push on into swimsuit model-class, the ranks become even thinner, yielding the fewest representatives so far.
Kyonyuu literally means “giant breasts,” although since it contains the same kyo as breakout anime hit Shingeki no Kyojin, known in English as Attack on Titan, “titanic breasts” would also be an acceptable translation.
G – 1.5 percent
And finally, we come to the smallest group (in number of representatives) of all, consisting of just 1.5 percent of women.
For describing the truly oversized bust, there’s bakunyuu, the evocative term meaning “exploding breasts.”
And so ends our journey through the peaks and valleys of Triumph’s database. For extra fun, stick the percentages into your computer’s spreadsheet program, then plot the points as a connected line graph. You’ll be treated to a rudimentary outline of a breast.
Truly, nature is both mysterious and magnificent in her workings.