Feeling glum, chum? A bit down in the dumps? Just can’t seem to do anything right? Well, why not let a few Japanese high school girls, or joshi kosei, cheer you up with their (unintentionally) amusing conversations, all documented on the world-wide web thanks to Twitter!
Now, it’s hardly fair to judge anyone by the stupid things they say or do in high school. After all, just how smart do you think you were in high school? Here’s a hint: Not at all! But that’s okay. Your teenage years are for being young and stupid and having fun. Of course, once you get older and have a job, you forget all about the young and having fun part.
Thankfully, Naver Matome has a fine selection of the silly things Japanese high school girls say to get you smiling and feeling better about yourself. So, throw away your books and computers, and run into our newest feature: The Silly Universe of the Joshi Kousei!
First up is the tweet that accompanied the featured image above.
Recent high school girls just look way too cool going home. Almost like vicious warriors!
Now, let’s see how joshi kosei (or JK for short) deal with the complexities of dating.
On the train sitting next to some high school girls now.
A: Hey, show me some purikura [basically photobooth photos] of your boyfriend!
B: Whaaat? Oh, fine, I guess I have to. *30 seconds of silence*
B: What…what’s wrong?
A: …that’s my ex-boyfriend…
Now it’s a bloodbath. ヽ(；▽；)ノ I just wanna go home!! LOL
Next, some sharp young JK debate the finer points of high cuisine.
A conversation between two high school girls that I’ll never forget went like this:
JKA: This beef curry is really good!
JKB: Oh yeah? What kind of meat is it?
JKA: Maybe chicken?
Of course, being high school students, JK do, occasionally, think about homework as well.
An adorable conversation between two high school girls…”Hmmm…what should I do when I get home?” “What? Study, right?” “No, that’s a goal, but it’s hardly realistic.”
For some reason, Japanese high school girls seem obsessed with food. Though they don’t seem entirely clear on where their food comes from.
Conversation between high school girls on the train.
JKA: It seems that someone died after eating raw yuhoe [a Korean dish containing raw, seasoned beef and egg yolk].
JKA: Well, it seems that the restaurant was serving dead cow’s meat.
JKB: What??? That’s unthinkable!
Sometimes joshi kosei do actually take a bit of time to discuss more international matters, like geography. Though these two seem to be completely redrawing some international boundaries.
A high school girls’ conversation overheard at the pharmacy. “Say…where exactly is Europe in America?” “Oh, I dunno…really, where is it? It’s gotta be above Canada though.” If I were their teacher, I wouldn’t give them a single credit!!!
On some occasions, though, it’s as if Japanese high school girls have a language entirely of their own.
I’m waiting for the train right now, and there’s a couple of high school girls nearby. “Hey! Yesterday on the train, I saw some people who were more mame than us!” “What? They were more mame than we’re mame?” “That’s right! They were more mame than we’re mame!” I’m shaking with laughter.
[This conversation is largely nonsensical, because it's unclear what "mame" means here--it could mean very studious, very careful, very small, or just "beans," the actual Japanese meaning]
Sometimes joshi kosei are also curious about the world around, seeking knowledge at every turn.
Conversation between two high school girls sitting in front of me.
A: Hey, you know ‘JR’…is that the Chuou line?
B: What do you mean??
A: JR…I thought it was an abbreviation for the Yamanote line, but…
All the other passengers around them looked baffled. I’m not sure what she was trying to say but…(´Д` ) Hunh?? “JR” is an abbreviation for the Yamanote line? What?
["JR" is actually an abbreviation for "Japan Railways," the company which runs many of the train lines in Tokyo and around Japan, including the Yamanote and Chuou lines.]
Naturally, JK love high culture as well, taking part in such esteemed activities as mimicry and name calling.
High school girls on the train.
A: ”#$!#?! (Starting to mimic Kintaro, a comedian who mimicks Atsuko Maeda [a pop star in idol group AKB48].)
B: You’re being really annoying around a bunch of strangers!
C: Oh, shut up, you flat-nosed wench.
▼ A video of Kintaro mimicking Atsuko Maeda, for your reference.
Though we might not imagine it, even JK can be true geeks.
I heard some high school girls having this revolutionary conversation. “Aren’t the upperclassmen cool?” “No. Gundam is cooler.”
Though many might think that high school girls are sheltered with little concept of the world going on around them, that’s not true at all.
“Did you know that Japanese cell phones are called ‘asparagus?’” “What? Is it because they’re long and thin??” [She probably meant "Galapagos."]
Naturally, though, JKs can’t go long without talking about the cuties who’ve stolen their hearts. This next one comes from a Twitter user named Masaaki.
The high school girls next to me were chatting.
A: Whaaat? You like Masaaki??
B: Like, not his face, but there’s just something nice about him, right?
A: Oh, you definitely like him!
A: Go out with him! It’ll be fine! For sure!
B: “Got it! I’ll give it my best shot!”
Hah! I guess I’ll be getting some messages from a JK later!
And, sometimes, just for something different, they can completely surprise you, too.
On the train, a high school girl suddenly blurted out, “Hey, what day is today??” I thought it must have been someone’s birthday until her friend responded, “It’s Battle of Midway day!”
Japanese high school girls also have a lot of pride and hate to be bested by anyone.
A group of three JK were chatting on the train. “I got the lowest grade on the mid-term.” “I got the lowest grade too.” “I got the lowest grade IN THE WHOLE CLASS!” What the hell kind of bragging is this? I nearly burst out laughing.
Here’s a tweet from the great land of McDonald’s, where the S and M come in different sizes!
I was at McDonald’s and a joshi kosei asked the clerk, “Which is bigger: S or M?” The clerk, with shocked look, replied, “M.” The girl thought for a moment and asked, “Okay, well, with this item, which is bigger, S or M?” Japan is doooomed!
However, let’s not forget, JKs don’t just enjoy eating food–they like making it too!
A conversation between two high school girls. “I like making curry, but I hate eating it.” “Ahhh…yeah, there are lots of people like that.” Wait, what?? Well, at the very least, *I* like eating it!
And sometimes joshi kosei are just…incomprehensible.
As I was leaving the office, I bumped into a group of about eight high school girls. They were all talking over the top of each other, like this: “Oh, I’m soooo tired.” “I wanna eat salted tongue! Salted tongue!” “Say, what time did you go to bed last night?” “My boyfriend is being so cold to me.” “Let’s go to karaoke!” “Oh, my contacts are killing me!” “Ah! I forgot my bag!” “I wanna go hoooome.” How the hell do they communicate like that???
Japanese high school girls never shy away from the unknown either, always willing to take on difficult tasks like unraveling questions about the universe!
A JK asked her friend, “Hey, what does ‘E.T.’ stand for?” Very coolly and calmly, her friend quipped, “Alien teacher.” WTF???
Well, we hope that these fun and frivolous mini-stories of the everyday lives of Japan’s high school girls have lightened your heart. Or at least made you feel a bit better about yourself.