It’s a scene all too familiar to many of us: You’re sitting at home playing some video games when you begin to get sweaty from the strenuous button mashing. Like anyone would, you change into a pair of Speedos to cool down a bit. Then, feeling a little peckish after some more gaming, you decide to cook up some ramen.
Stop!!! Little do you know these seemingly innocent actions are a recipe for getting 20 rockets fired at your private parts. This painful lesson was learnt by Mr. Ye of New Taipei, Taiwan on 1 October.
The 32-year-old man was acting out the scene described above at his home at around 10:00 in the morning. Wanting to enjoy some tasty ramen, Mr. Ye brought a portable stove to the room in which he was playing games.
However, as he fired up his stove, its heat came into contact with a box of fireworks lying nearby and set them off. In total 20 rockets were fired, all of which hit Mr. Ye square in the crotch. The impromptu fireworks show also generated loud bangs on four separate occasions.
It was these sounds that alerted neighbors to call the fire department. When the emergency workers opened the door to Mr. Ye’s room they could vaguely see him through a cloud of smoke, wearing a Speedo, on all fours, legs spread, and yelling “Owwwww!!!”
Mr. Ye later described his ordeal to the media saying all the fireworks seemed to fly as if they somehow intended to hit him in his banana hammock. His only defense was to flail his feet wildly in a desperate attempt to block one or two. When the incident hit the media, an outpouring of support came across the internet from other guys typing with their legs crossed tightly.
Still, it all turned out okay in the end. Mr. Ye was swiftly treated and released from hospital having only received minor bruises and burns to his crotch region. Although one could argue there’s no such thing as a “minor” bruise to such a sensitive area.
The lesson to take away from this incident is clear: Don’t cook ramen in Speedos while playing computer games with fireworks lying around the home. Cook a toaster oven pizza instead, and keep reading RocketNews24 for more, uh, rocket news.