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Sometimes it seems like all the ideas for good inventions have already been taken. The wheel. The light bulb. The Internet, and with it access to some of the greatest sources of knowledge known to man.

Nevertheless, we salute those individuals still pushing the innovation envelope, even when reality pushes back with the harsh truth that no one would ever use their creations.

There’s a popular image of brilliant inventors suddenly being struck by a vision while sitting at the breakfast table, discovering in mid-meal a way to make the world a better place. Unfortunately, less-than-brilliant inventors seem to draw inspiration from their kitchens, too.

The proper way to eat ramen in Japan is by leaving the noodles uncut and slurping them up with your chopsticks. Unfortunately, this usually results in a lot of broth flying about, and if you somehow think that dressing up like a lion is preferable to spots of oil on your shirt, this ramen mask is for you.

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Another common complaint about ramen is that it’s served at way too high a temperature to eat. These fan equipped chopsticks are here to help those who haven’t mastered the secret techniques for consuming piping hot foods.

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Nutritionists tell us that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Unfortunately, it’s also the one most people have the least time for, and the potential time-savings of multi-tasking have led to the development of toasters that allow you to watch TV or print out important business documents while preparing your meal.

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On the other end of the spectrum, if you’re the industrious type who gets up early enough that you have extra time on your hands before you have to head to the office, you could indulge your creative side by searing your own designs onto a slice of bread.

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And if you’re the kind of person who’s too lazy to get out of bed on time, but also too nice not to pour your spouse’s glass of orange juice for him or her, this double-spouted bottle presents a handy solution.

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After a hard day at work, some people like to unwind with a glass of wine. Should you, in your haste to get the bottle open, accidentally break the cork, remember that you can always just smash the bottle to bits with a hammer.

▼ Remember to sweep up any shards of glass before you go licking your $100 Shiraz off the floor.

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Of course, once you literally crack open the bottle, you’re stuck having to drink the whole thing, which can really make it hard to operate even basic silverware. Thankfully, you can rely on your laser-guided fork for that (although honestly, if you really need this, we’re not sure you’re qualified to be feeding yourself).

▼ And how will you get the fork into your mouth without being able to see the pointer?

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But where there’s food, you can be sure there’re cockroaches, too, which is why someone developed house slippers that extend into bug-squashing polearms.

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Keeping the house clean and protected from intruders is especially important if you’ve got little ones in the home. But if you’re handling bug-killing duty, it’s only fair that your baby offer a service in return.

▼ On the one hand, having your kid do this after your crush a cockroach with your slipper makes you an even more horrible parent. On the other hand, clean floors.

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Besides, a little infant labor will toughen your offspring up. Be careful not to work your babies too hard, though, or before you know it they’ll be the ones wearing the pants in the family and forcing you into wearing degrading outfits for their convenience.

▼ “I want to nurse, Dad.”

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Thankfully, infants can only stay awake so long, and once your tiny overlord has nodded off, you’ll be free to do whatever you want, whether that means silently packing up your things and fleeing to a different state before dawn, or just sitting down at your computer to check your email, perhaps using what’s billed as the “perfect mouse.”

▼ The perfect mouse doesn’t have a button for one-click access to RocketNews24? We call shenanigans.

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Need a cup of joe? You can fix one without even getting up from your desk.

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Before you run down its old-school design that includes a CD tray, remember that it can also double as a cup holder. But if all of your tech gear absolutely must be avant-garde, how about this key-cube?

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Remember how we mentioned that inspiration often strikes in the kitchen? The bathroom is another pensive place where inventors spend plenty of time. Again though, who actually has the time to enjoy a nice, leisurely washroom session in our busy, workaday world? For the modern businessperson, nothing less than the convenience and efficiency of a briefcase toilet will do

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Or how about the ability to do number two as you make copies?

▼ Does it recycle your….deposits…as toner?

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And what guy hasn’t been disgusted by going into a public restroom only to find a shallow puddle of pee covering the floor in front of the urinal? Can’t modern technology do something about this?

▼ You know, on second thought, we’ll just use the stall.

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But while this woman does indeed have a roll of toilet paper strapped to her head, it’s ostensibly to help her cope with a constantly dripping nose during Japan’s hay fever season.

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OK, so we’ve seen how half-baked inventions can help our bodies with waste removal, but what can they do for us when it comes to that other fundamental human activity, sleeping? We’re sure many of our readers are already familiar with Japan’s infamous “boyfriend pillow.”

▼ Perfect for the woman who can’t relax without a comforting male presence (or disembodied torso)

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Of course, sleeping next to another living, breathing human being means having to come to an agreement on how to divide up real estate in the bed, a problem this ruler-lined mattress attempts to solve.

▼ If you really can’t get along with each other without this, we’ll save you some time: break up now, and enjoy sleeping in the exact center of the bed tonight.

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In Japan, many people like to catch a few Zs by sleeping on the train. If there’s no place to sit down, this can be tricky, but not entirely impossible with equipment like this.

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Or this set-up, which includes a card on which you can write the name of the statio you want your fellow passengers to wake you up at.

▼ Sure, several of them will laugh at you, but it’s not like you’ll be awake to hear them.

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And finally, in the event that you find yourself without a wall to anchor yourself to, the “pillow wig” instantly turns any room into a bedroom.

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Good night, everybody!

Source: Naver Matome
Top image: Chillout Point
Insert images: GGPHT (1, 2), Chillout Point (1, 2, 3), Blogspot, Chillout Point (4, 5), GGPHT (3, 4, 5), Chillout Point (6, 7, 8), Blogspot, Chillout Point (9, 10, 11), Rakuten, GGPHT (6, 7, 8), Geekologie