It’s been said that Christmas in Japan is for lovers, and that’s bad news for someone like our Mr. Sato. That’s not to say he’s unlucky with the ladies, but whenever he goes in for that first kiss his prickly stubble never fails to repel them.
However, Christmas is also a time for miracles, and while walking through the Akihabara streets last week, a blue Oasis appeared before him. Staffed by several sexy women clad in cute blue Santa outfits stood the Gillette Skin Diagnosis Event.
■ The story of Sato’s stubble
People often assume that Mr. Sato’s stubble is the result of a lazy lifestyle. However, this is not the case. He’s a hardworking reporter who must consume a ridiculous amount of calories to maintain his lifestyle. And while he may look tough, Mr. Sato is actually a surprisingly sensitive soul, and chooses not to shave because of how irritated his skin becomes after every stroke of the razor. He feels that the choice between a little scruff and bleeding red blotches isn’t a choice at all.
Mr. Sato had long ago accepted this card that fate had dealt him, and didn’t expect much from this street-side “skin diagnosis.” However, he was interested in diagnosing the skin of the cute blue Santas, so went in to investigate.
■ Diagnosis: [X]
Walking up to the event, Mr. Sato was met by a group of Gillette Santa girls. Using a method developed by ZZ Top, they began their analysis.
After, gauging the cell-count of his stratum granulosum Mr. Sato’s smooth skin diagnosis was determined. It didn’t look good for our reporter.
These women’s jobs were not solely to hand down bad news though. The reason they wore blue was to symbolize a way for Mr. Sato to change his painful post-shave Santa-red skin into a refreshing blue sensation.
■ Pro Glide
The Santas sat Mr. Sato down and showed him a Gillette Pro Glide. It had five curved blades and a friction-reducing motor in the handle. The combination of the five ultra-thin blades and motor resulted in an unprecedented smoothness and never gets caught in even thick facial hair, of which our man is definitely the owner.
After getting lathered up by the Santas, Mr. Sato nervously began to shave. It didn’t take long for him to realize the smoothness of the Pro Glide as he effortlessly guided the blades around his rugged and manly contours. “Is this even a razor?” he thought to himself.
■ Second opinion
Having finished his shave, the blue Santas performed another analysis and found that “he got face, and he knows how to use it.” They certified him as “kissably smooth for Christmas” labelled him as such and sent him on his way.
Mr. Sato indeed felt extra smooth and ready to win with the ladies! There was still time until Christmas, but he felt sure he could maintain this baby-bottom texture until then with his new Pro Glide. Recently, he’s been preparing by playing the Virtual Kiss Experience Game staring Japanese actress Saki Aibu on the Gillette website. Actually he hasn’t left his room in a few days since starting… Eh, he’s probably fine.
Original report by Mr. Sato
▼ Mr. Sato wasted no time rushing in for the “smooth skin diagnosis”.
▼ “Why, hello there! I’m ready for my, ahem, diagnosis. Heheh”
▼ Smooth, ain’t it.
▼ “Aw c’mon! I need smooth skin…”
▼ Mr. Sato undergoes treatment with the Gillette Pro Glide
▼ Mr. Sato had no idea what they were talking about, but once they started lathering up their hands he was immediately up for anything.
▼ “Handsomeness, here I come!”
▼ The smoothness on his face was felt immediately.
▼ Wow, looks like he accidentally shaved off a few years while he was at it!
[ Read in Japanese ]