chinacensus1

Despite tons of cultural similarities, the people of East Asia’s top three superpowers – Japan, China and Korea – are a wildly different bunch. Not only on a superficial level like clothing choices and which David Bowie song they prefer to sing at karaoke, but also on a deeper and more fundamental level; people in all three countries vary wildly in things like height, education levels and even sexual satisfaction.

According to a new census conducted by a Chinese newsgroup recently, anyway. Here are some of their findings:

  • Women’s Health

Japan tops the other two countries – and much of the rest of the civilized world – in terms of women’s health, ranking 33 in the world. Korea comes in at 75 and China takes the 133rd spot, making it the unhealthiest of the three countries.

  • Marriage Age

Chinese women marry youngest, at an average age of 24.9. Korea and Japan are basically tied at 29.4 and 29.2 years of age, respectively.

  • Sexual Satisfaction

The Chinese appear most satisfied with their sex lives, with an average 42% “satisfaction level.” Japan came in dead last at just 15%, despite (or perhaps because of)? porn, sex shops and semi-legal paid sexual encounters being readily available all over the country.

Screen Shot 2014-03-25 at 6.04.40 PMImage: Wikimedia

  • Height

Korean women measured an average 162 cm (5’3″), while men came in at 174 cm (5’7″), beating both Chinese and Japanese averages by about 4 cm. I imagine the huge number of uncannily hunched-over old people brought down the average for all three countries.

  • Penis Size

In what must have been the most uncomfortable item for researchers to look into, the survey found both Japanese and Chinese men come in at an average 10.89 cm, although available data for Chinese men is apparently around four decades old. Korean men average 9.66 cm, ranking just a tad shorter than their East Asian counterparts.

  • First “Experience”

Of course we’re talking about sex here because all surveys like this need some salacious material to get people to care enough to pay attention to the boring stuff. Koreans proved the youngest sex hounds, beating out the global average by a significant margin at just 13.6 years old. Most Japanese people’s first time is around 18.6 years old, while the Chinese apparently like to wait until the age of 21. We wonder what they’re doing in high school if not chasing tail.

  • Breast Size

We’re talking only about women’s breasts here, although lord knows I’ve observed many a male D-cup in my local gym locker room. In Japanese sizes, Chinese women average a 75B (US 34A), Korean women average an A cup (US AA), and Japanese women come in between a B and C (US A or B). The survey notes certain parts of Japan have unusual concentrations of D and E-average women (US C or D), although it cruelly neglects to point out where those Utopias might be.

Screen Shot 2014-03-25 at 6.06.19 PMImage: Proprofs

  • Gender Equality

The Global Gender Gap Index, which ranks gender equality based on a number of quantifiable factors, ranks China as most gender-equal – at number 69 of 135 countries. Japan and Korea are comparatively less kind to those of the female persuasion, ranking 105 and 111. Note the higher the number, the wider the gender divide, so none of the three countries make a very impressive showing here.

  • Education for Women

In terms of access to education for women, China ranks 81st globally, while Japan ranks 91st and Korea comes in at 100th place.

  • Women in Government

In keeping with what we’re beginning to see as a female empowerment trend in China, representation for women in Chinese government blew the other two countries out of the water, with 23.4% of all government representatives being female. Nice going, China – let’s see some more of that.

While it’s always up for debate which country has the better food, more attractive people or more convenient transportation, it’s nice to have some solid, indisputable facts. Although, while all of the above information is all very interesting and useful on some level, we guess, we’re still a little sore the survey didn’t bother to find those preferred Bowie songs.

Source: Xinhua.jp
Feature Photo: Sophia Jenner