Men aren’t exactly known for making good decisions when it comes to their penises. Now, normally that just means that guys will take absurd risks to impress someone they fancy, but sometimes their idiocy can run a bit deeper. And if you add boredom into the mix, all bets are off! It’s impossible to say what a guy wont try to stick inside his little fella.

Wait, inside? Yep, you read that correctly! As much as you probably don’t want to know more…well, you still definitely want to know more. Click to read all the cringe-worthy details below!

Now, not all guys go to such extreme lengths for a little bit of pleasure…but then it only takes one crazy apple to make everyone else look bad, right? In this case, our unlucky fella was found in an operating room in a hospital in Yichang City, Hubei Province, China, where surgeons were hard at work removing a rubber cord from his bladder.

Um, we should probably back up a bit.

Last week, Chinese media reported that a 40-year-old man, seeking a bit of extra stimulation, decided to try threading a rubber cord, 4 millimeters (about .16 inches) wide, into his urethra. Now, if you didn’t immediately gasp and grab your groin, you either don’t have a penis or are a sounding expert.

▼Not intended for internal use.


Though about 30 years past the point when he should have known better, this gentleman was deriving so much enjoyment from his experience that he eventually attempted to shove the full 1.1 meters (about 3.6 feet) into his body via his penis. While his determination–only 10 centimeters (roughly 4 inches) remained outside of his body–is admirable, we are sad to report that the cord got knotted up inside of his body.

As pain began to emanate from his pelvic region, the man realized that he couldn’t get the cord out. With no other recourse, he headed to the local hospital, where doctors discovered that a large portion of the cord had actually ended up in his bladder. Which probably explained why he was also having a hard time peeing–though that’s just a wild guess on our part.

Since there was still enough of the cord hanging out of his dangling bits, you might think the doctors simply pulled it out. However, due to concerns that this would actually cause complications like urethral strictures, the medical professionals realized that they had to remove the cord surgically. The operation, which took several hours, was a success and the patient is expected to make a full recovery.

No word yet on whether or not he plans to take the cord on a second date…

Of course, after such a gruesome story, anyone would need a palate cleanser! So, sticking with today’s theme, here is a video of Jehovah’s Witnesses trying to get deaf people to stop masturbating dubbed over with the music of 50 Cent.

Alright, now back to work with you! And don’t try any funny business with your pen, okay?

Sources: Narinari, CNHubei
Images: Know Your Meme, CNHubei