One of the best parts of Twitter is the comedy. Though the microblogging service is filled with high-profile comedians who can easily delight fans with hashtag humor, some of the funniest tweets come from its less famous users. The Japanese twitterverse isn’t much different, with many of the most highly retweeted and favorited posts coming from relative unknowns. Which makes Twitter not only a great way to practice reading Japanese, but also a great way to relax by having a laugh!
So, to help you get through the rest of your week and give you enough energy to get to the weekend, here are seven of our favorite funny tweets from the Japanese twitterverse!
“It’s the end of the world as we know it…” We don’t know if this Twitter user was influenced by REM or not, but her take on the end of humanity left us smiling–not a feat many can lay claim to!
“Today is the end of humanity. It doesn’t feel real, does it?”
“Um, you know…”
“I’ve always liked you. Would you be my girlfriend for the rest of the time we have alive?”
“…I’m surprised. Well, I guess it’s better than being alone. There’s nothing to be done. I’ll be your girlfriend. Haha!”
And then we’ll be dating and right at the last moment before the end, I want to confess, “Actually, I’ve always really liked you, too,” and then die.
As you probably know, lining up a post-college job can be a hellish experience in Japan. Many students will even go so far as to do in-depth research on the companies they’re applying for–and then meet up with others to exchange notes and discuss interview tactics. Here’s someone who decided to have a bit of fun with those poor kids…
“We got together, a few of us, and cosplayed as job hunting college students, and went to Starbucks and sat down next to a table of real job hunting students with their notebooks full of summaries of what companies are looking for. Then, we started saying really high conscious stuff like, “I’ve already gotten five job offers, but I’m really more worried about doing something for the planet than that.” An off-line meeting to put pressure on them!
This Tweet is both funny and a good Japanese lesson–if you’re looking to score some pants off someone’s legs. Otherwise, it’s just a very good caution to keep in mind when texting your friends!
“Kudasai (ください)” and “kudasai (下さい)” are different, you know. When you’re requesting an action, you use the first one “kudasai (ください)” and when you want a thing, you use the second one “kudasai (下さい)”. So if you say “pantsu wo nuidekudasi (パンツを脱いでください)” using the first one, you mean “Please take your pants off.” But if you say “pantsu wo nuidekudasai (パンツを脱いで下さい)” using the second one, it means “Please take your pants off and give them to me.” You pervert!!
While we appreciate a good lawyer to help us get out of any sticky widgets we find ourselves in, this tweet shows why dating someone with a law-oriented mind might not always be the most fun. On the other hand, maybe boyfriends shouldn’t be so clingy…
I was focused on my phone, and my boyfriend started getting moody. (´・ω・` Well, there was nothing else I could do, so I grabbed his hand and said, “I’ll swap my old phone for this model. Haha!” and he hugged me and said, “Do you mind signing up for a 100-year contract?” //// Grrr… //// Under the Tenth article of the Consumer Contract Act, that would be an unfair contract and thus null and void. #NoBoyfriend
Some of the funniest things you’ll hear in Japan are overheard on the train. Now, obviously, we’re not saying you should start eavesdropping on your fellow passengers, but here’s an example of the quips you might catch if you take your headphones off.
On the train, an elderly couple was sitting and holding hands, looking very intimate with each other. Across from them was a young couple, and the woman turned to the man and said, “Hey, look at them. Isn’t it embarrassing? They’re old! It’d be better if it were us doing that. Haha!” “Oh? Well, shall we break up then?” “WHAT?!” “I can’t be like that with you, and now I don’t think I’ll ever want to.” He knew just what to say..
As for this next tweet, well, we’re not sure how Yanase, creator of Anpanman, would feel about being associated with erotic manga…but we can certainly appreciate the sentiment the Twitter user is expressing!
“People who draw erotic manga are all actually sex offenders.” If you use this logic to ban erotic manga, then Takao Saito was a terrorist, and Shigeru Mizuki was an apparition, and Yanase Takashi was wheat flour.
It seems love is a popular topic for funny comments, and love-related quiz shows might be the best places to dig for comedic gold. Even if the quiz shows are neither real nor televised!
Girl: “I’m going to give you a quiz!”
Boy: “Hunh? Okay!”
Girl: “Alright, answer the next question.”
Girl: “Imagine this world without me.”
Boy: “I hate it.”
Girl: “Me too! (´;ω;` )”
That was the mysterious conversation I just overheard a couple having. Where the hell was the quiz??