Everybody, it’s time to talk about junk.
Even to the discerning eye of the straight woman and the gay male, I’m willing to bet the visual appeal of even the best-kept male genital area ranks somewhere between the ugliest dog in the world and a Lobstrosity from Stephen King’s Dark Tower saga. Plus, despite the meme that there are more germs in your mouth than on your genitals – the swamp-like environment created from all those dangly bits contracted together by boxer briefs for hours at a time can’t be sanitary.
So it goes that enterprising young Chinese college student Kong Yongxiang apparently took one look at a standard condom and thought, “This is way too revealing.” She then went on to invent what is creatively called the “Eros Protector” – literally a condom attached to a thong, with a special pouch that goes over the testicles, ensuring that your male partner’s gross peen and balls stay both safely sheathed in latex and thankfully out of sight.
▼ A concept sketch. As you can see, the condom may also be used for grating cheese.
The Eros Protector will come with a pouch that dispenses specially designed condoms that actually screw into place on the front of the thong. Apparently, instead of standard lubricant, these condoms also come equipped with a Chinese herbal blend lubricant that helps to maintain the pH balance of a woman’s private parts.
Yongxiang and team’s invention apparently shows so much promise it has attracted over US$300,000 in investment money from China’s venture capital firm Guangdong Yuezheng Investment Management Limited, who have high hopes that the risky investment will pay out due to the project’s creativity.
Certainly, having condoms readily available in a pouch attached directly to your underwear is convenient and confidence-boosting, but the question remains: Are guys willing to wear man thongs just to keep their junk under wraps?