Father’s Day is always tough for the kids–there’s quite possibly no one harder to shop for than a father, despite what hardware store commercials would have you believe. After all, even if you do decide to get him a new set of tools, how can you be sure that these are the right tools to get him? You’re almost better off just setting your money on fire!
But what about the men out there who are spending the day wishing they had someone to buy them presents they never actually wanted? Thankfully, there’s a new item up for rent on Japan’s Yahoo! Auction site that might be just the thing…
The economy is still a bit rough–we doubt that there are too many people out there not looking to make a bit of extra cash. But this might be the worst money-making idea we’ve seen this week–or possibly the best, depending on how you judge entrepreneurs.
A 32-year-old Japanese man, known only as itazurakko3, his Yahoo! name which means “mischievous child,” has put his services on sale on Yahoo! Auctions, allowing would-be fathers to bid on the opportunity to have him be their son for a day.
▼1. Post photo of self wearing diaper online.
Not only is this gentleman willing to be your son for a day, he’ll even let you “choose” his age. Whether you want a diaper-wearing todder, a high school kid to ignore you, or busy businessman home just long enough to spend all his time on his laptop checking work email, this Yahoo! Auction user has got you covered!
And, yes, he really has promised to wear a diaper if it’s a toddler you want. He’ll even be sure to cry endlessly all day–though there’s no mention of whether you’ll have to change him.
Bidding started at a mere 108 yen (just over US$1) and climbed all the way to 1,000 yen (about $10) with a total of 16 bids recorded. We can’t help wondering if Itazurakko3 might not have misjudged the demand for his services. On the other hand, we have to say that he didn’t do a particularly good job of selling himself. Here’s how he described “the product”:
Exterior appearance: There’s absolutely no mistaking this product for an attractive man, but it’s also not so ugly that you’d feel compelled to burn it with fire on sight. It comes with glasses as an accessory.
Special characteristics: It’s a bit shy, so it’s not particularly good at speaking to others on its own volition. It does have common sense. It does not have ay interests or likes and is a boring person.
Damage to exterior of product: The hair is kind of frizzy, so if you’re not into non-straight hair, please don’t bid. There are also scars from acne on the face. If you have a fear of being sucked up by pimples, please don’t bid.
Caution: There is a danger that continued stimulation of the sensitive areas may produce a foul smell.
Comment from actual father: I’ve given up!
Hmmm…we almost feel like bidding out of pity–probably a good thing the auction is now closed. Though that’s not all of the warnings attached to this “product.” Here are few more of the bizarre (though actually quite rational) stipulations.
— It is possible to offer this product as a present to your father, but please be sure to tell your father about this product beforehand. Otherwise, everyone will have a bad time.
–If you decide to take this product as your real son in the future, you’ll need to consult with my actual father.
–Women can bid as long as they don’t mind being called father.
–This does not include the cost of food if you’d like this product to take you out for a meal. If you’d like this service, you’ll need to provide money beforehand, and I’ll use the money at the restaurant and pretend to treat you.
Something tells us his real father probably won’t be needed for consultations any time soon.
▼RocketNews24 is not responsible for psychiatric fees resulting from viewing photo.
Itazurako3 ended his product description with this delightful message:
“If you choose to purchase this product, you’ll have a Father’s Day this year that won’t be lonely and will be unforgettable no matter how hard you try! Also, you can try out what it’s like being a father, so this is ideal for those of you wanting kids!”
This isn’t the first time someone’s used Yahoo! Auctions for bizarre purposes, though we’ve certainly never seen anyone selling their services as a child before. Considering how low the final bid was, though, we have to say we’re definitely not going to give it a try ourselves any time soon…
Finally, happy Father’s Day! Be sure to give your dad a call, even if you’re stuck getting him another set of box-end wrenches. We’re sure he’ll appreciate the thought.