Are you a business owner? Do you have a product or service you’re selling, but aren’t sure how to market it? Is your target demographic pervy weirdos?
Tittygram has your number! For a nominal fee, Tittygram allows you to advertise basically anything you want on the breasts of an attractive, busty woman! Once again, the crossroads of porn and the Internet have yielded a major marketing innovation!
The media has been talking about Tittygram a lot since fast food chain Burger King seemingly used the service to advertise its burgers in Russia with the phrase, “I love Burger King!” written across the ample chest of a young woman, which the chain then shared on one of its Russian social media pages, apparently oblivious that advertising on the medium could be construed as at least a little sexist in other countries.
Regardless of backlash, the service seems to be picking up steam, as it’s now available in four languages, including Japanese (which shouldn’t surprise anyone). We’re all well aware that Japan kind of has a love affair with large breasts and saucy advertising, so the service seems almost tailor-made for the Japanese market.
At just 1,200 yen (approx. US&10) for a standard breast advertisement, or 3,500 yen for a super high-fidelity breast ad, Tittygram is affordable enough for both small businesses and individuals to use, which means you can now pay a service to make a woman write the word “Titception” on her breasts for your own personal amusement.
Is Tittygram sexist? Oh, absolutely. The company’s attitude towards women is kind of proudly displayed right there in the name of the service, which opts to use the more demeaning “titty,” when they could have at least settled on the equally-not-very-good pun of “Breastogram.” Even so, Tittygram CEO Vladimir Gritsenko is apparently defending the company from allegations of sexism, saying, “Nobody forces [the women] to do it.”
Stay tuned next week, when I introduce my new advertising platform, “Nutsogram,” where I write whatever message you want in Crayola crayon on my love eggs and post pictures of it on the Internet. Any takers? …No?