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There’s a pretty common male fantasy in Japan that goes like this: You’re sitting alone in your classroom at lunchtime, when suddenly, a cute female classmate walks up to you. With your heart fluttering and your stomach growling, you find out she’s ready to satisfy both, as she pulls out a bento lunch box filled with homemade goodies and, while smiling sweetly, asks if you’d eat lunch with her.

Now take that same scenario, but expand the cast from one girl to six. Even better, right?

Sure, at least until you find out that all six of your lady suitors have superpowers and violent streaks, like what happens to this unsuspecting guy in the craziest soda ad we’ve seen in quite a while.

The key to success in the Japanese snack and soft drink sector is to be constantly changing up your product lineup. After all, you’ve got to keep hitting your customers’ taste buds with fresh flavors before boredom sets in and they get tired of your barley soda and sushi-flavored potato chips.

Of course, different flavors call for different ads, and while you’re at it, you may as well get some new celebrity spokespeople, right? So while Kirin Beverage enlisted Dragon Ball’s Goku and Frieza to help sell their orange and grape flavors of Mets soda, they decided go with more feminine on-camera talent for the new zero-calorie lychee Mets.

Starring in the ad are the ladies of Dempagumi.inc, a six-member idol unit who’re all self-professed otaku.

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Dempagumi.inc has arguably won as many fans for their pretty smiles and sunny personalities as they have for their musical skills, so there are probably plenty of guys who’d be happy to hear them excitedly call out to him with “Senpai (upperclassman)!” Still, these girls seem like they might be just a little too enthusiastic seeing as how they’re climbing in through the classroom window instead of sing the door.

As it turns out, “enthusiastic” doesn’t even begin to do justice to the gusto they show in their race to be the first to reach their collective crush.

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Pandemonium breaks out as the six sailor-suited singers burst into the classroom, with some of them flying straight towards the young man and one girl going Bo Jackson on the chalkboard by running across it.

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They’re not just competing with their legs, though, but with their fists, too, as they start brawling between the desks.

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▼ Dempagumi.inc leader Risa Aizawa proves her old-school otaku cred by channeling Sukeban Deka’s Saki.

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Of course, trying to pummel your romantic rivals with a boxed lunch or a love letter means that they’re going to get pretty messed up in the process. Mirin Furukawa, though, decides she doesn’t need any such props to show her feelings, and seizes the chance to go in for a full-power kabe-don, a maneuver it turns out she’s a little too good at.

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And if you’re willing to face the truth that the girls of Dempagumi.inc are not, in fact, actually able to fly through the air and destroy building with their bare hands, this video shows how the ad was made.

But is the ad really as out of control as it seems? Let’s take a look at the lyrics of the song that plas throughout and see if they can provide some sort of context.

You can be anything you wanna!
We want Mets!
We’re the funky spunky younger generation!
We want Mets!
Get the boys! Get the girls!
We want Mets!
We’re the funky spunky younger generation!
We want Mets!
Get the boys! Get the girls!

Nope, not a drop. Still, what the ad lacks in meaning it more than makes up for in energy. All the same, though, we think that if we were in his position, we’d respond to these declarations of love in the exact same way as the guy in the ad.

“Well, let’s start as friends, and see where things go from there.”

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Source: YouTube/Kirin Beverage h/t Kotaku USA
Images: YouTube/Kirin Beverage