Everyone has different expectations when they go out on a first date with someone. Maybe you expect to eat some great food and engage in some wonderfully pleasant but generally stilted first date conversation. Maybe you expect nothing more than a quick cup of coffee so you and your date can get to know each other without feeling locked into an hours-long affair in case your date reveals themselves to be, like, a serial killer or something.
Or, like 14.3% of Japanese women, maybe you expect the first date to end with not just a goodnight kiss, but also mind-blowing coitus.
My Navi News recently conducted a survey of 300 women (an admittedly small sample, so take all these findings with a grain of salt), to determine what percentage of Japanese women enter into a first date with the expectation that an adult sleepover will be involved.
Note that the language of the survey doesn’t ask if the women “want” to have sex on a first date, only whether or not they “intend to”/”expect to” – so we’ll let readers determine the gender relations/societal implications of that on their own.
Also note that the overwhelming majority of those that responded to the survey (85%) said they do not expect to stay over on the first date, while an additional 0.3% responded with a nebulous “other.” Also note that .3% of 300 is .9, meaning probably the one person that answered “other” is perhaps some kind of interdimensional being that is only 90% human and has sex with their mind and/or weird tentacle appendages and was therefore uncertain of how to answer. Also note that 85 + 14.3 + .3 is only 99.6, because the Japanese media is not exactly thorough in their reporting.
Anyway, let’s take a look at some of the reasoning provided by individual survey respondents:
Would not have sex on the first date
“If I go in with the expectation of sex, I feel like the guy wouldn’t respect me.”
“I’m not that easy!”
“I’m fine with a kiss on the first date, but I feel like sleeping over would lead to a speedy breakup.”
“I don’t want to date the type of guy that tries to get a girl to put out that fast.”
“I think it’s important to get to know each other first. The sex can happen after we get close.”
“I promised myself I would wait until marriage.” (Cultural note: The abstinence approach is super rare in largely secular Japan, but the source article doesn’t indicate if this woman had some kind of religious affiliation or not.)
A love hotel in Himeji
Would have sex on the first date
“Sex is important. I want to make sure our ‘styles’ in the bedroom match up before getting more serious.”
“I only date guys I already like, so why not?”
“I come prepared, but I think if a guy actually tried to go that far on the first date, I’d freak out.”
“I don’t really want to do it on the first date, but, considering that it may happen, I only go on dates with guys I’m comfortable with.”
“A woman always has to go in prepared.”
Others commented somewhat incongruously.
“I go on a first date prepared for the possibility, but I wouldn’t do it.”
“I’m already in my late 20s, so I don’t care so much about [holding out] anymore.”
Finally, the weird interdimensional being that responded with “other” somehow ended up actually being two people, according to the source, and both commented with the more-or-less expected equivalent of “Eh, depends on the guy.”
In the end – looking at the comments and the actual numbers – it’s probably safe to say that your odds of enjoying some steamy lovemaking on the first date in Japan are pretty low. But hey, nobody’s saying anything about date number two, big guy!