A young Japanese woman suddenly finds herself surrounded by four hot guys, each one vying for her favor. One is tough, another is cool, and the third is going with the soft sell. There’s even a handsome man trying to game her or rule her or neg her, whatever the term is when pseudo-aggressive dudes simultaneously tell a girl that she’s insufferably lame but that they also desperately want to hook up with her.
The woman’s pulse races as she realizes she hold all the cards in this game of love. But this scenario is too good to be true right? Is it a dating simulator video game? A reverse-harem anime?
Nope, it’s the cell phone corner of a Japanese electronics store.
Looking at tourist brochures might leave you with the impression that life in Kyoto is all sipping tea and quietly observing the moss forming on the stones in a Zen temple garden, but as one of the biggest cities in the country day-to-day life in Japan’s former capital is full of modern and secular aspects. Even in Kyoto you’ll find people who enjoy manga and anime culture, plus people who’re keen to have the latest and greatest smartphone. Sometimes those two groups even overlap, which is why when Twitter user @ankou_anko stopped by the Kyoto branch of electronics megastore Yodobashi Camera, the smartphone corner looked like this.
あんこう ﾐ´ω`ﾐ (@ankou_anko) September 20, 2015
Let’s move in for a close-up of these four personified pitches for personal electronics.
● An intelligent model that will create a new era with its beauty. The intelligent model: Galaxy S6 Edge SC-04G
“I guess I can do you the favor of being with you.”
“Only I have the Dual Edge Screen composed of glass and metal. Don’t you think you should go with me and add just a little bit of elegance to yourself for once? I’ll show you what it’s like to experience amazing visuals with this curved edge screen. And on top of that, I’ve got a monster CPU. You probably wouldn’t even know what to do with all of my intelligence. But…if it’s what you want, I guess I can do the favor of being with you.”
● Durable and damage-resistant. The wild model: Arrows NX F-04G
“Protecting you is my job.”
“I can tell everything about you just by looking into your eyes, because I’ve got iris authentication capabilities. I can make your dreams come true. I’m packed with leading-edge technology, and my strong, beautiful body features a display screen made with gorilla glass, so I’m always tough. Don’t worry baby, you can use me up until my battery runs dry. Protecting you is my job.”
● Just the right size. The comforting model: Aquos Ever SH-04G
“Let me be by your side.”
“I’m light and comfortably sized, so I can always be with you. Of course I’d never do anything to be a burden to you. I’ve got a long-lasting battery, so even if you can’t charge me up, I won’t let you down by running out of energy. I’m also easy to control and take beautiful pictures. There’s no way I’ll ever cause trouble for you, so let me be by your side.”
● Beauty and intelligence. The cool model: Aquos Zeta SH-03G
“Just choose me.”
“I can put on a stylish production for you with my beautiful frame. Plus I’ve got a little something called optical camera shake correction, so I can catch your image no matter what you’re doing. And I’ve got the Emopa (Emotional Partner personified assistance) system. Any time you call out to me, I’ll come to you, girl. I’m not gonna say anything more. Just choose me.”
Weird as it might seem to have phones spouting pick-up lines at you, whether in romance or sales, confidence is vital. Of course, now this has us wondering what older model flip phones would say if they could talk.
▼ “Dag nabbit, missy, don’t be so rough opening me! Don’t you know I’ve got the rheumatism? I should have known you only chose me to cash in on my life insurance policy!”
Top image: Twitter/@ankou_anko (edited by RocketNews24)
Insert images: Twitter/@ankou_anko, flip phone photo ©RocketNews24