Because when your ad contains the line “It’s like cherry blossom comes out of your ass hole!” you know it’s going to be a game-changer.
If you’ve ever wished you could replace your foul-smelling bottom-burps with something a little more palatable, your dreams may have finally come true. At least if the makers of a new “dietary supplement” from Japan are to be believed.
Nonara—a product whose name appears to be a portmanteau of the English word “no” and “onara”, the Japanese for fart—purports not just to reduce the potency of one’s trumps, but to actually transform and enhance them, turning your personal gusts into waves of powerful, flower-like aroma that can be enjoyed by everyone in the office. It’s like, to borrow the maker’s eye-popping slogan, “cherry blossom comes out of your ass hole!”
Behold: the company’s recently-uploaded commercial message (oh yes, there’s an commercial), which even comes complete with English subtitles (click the icon fifth from the right on the play-bar to turn them on):
Produced by a Shizuoka Prefecture-based company called Tsuitachi Pharmaceuticals, the floral flatulence capsules appear to be aimed primarily at working women. Shipping in pink-and-white packaging decorated with images of cherry blossom, Nonara comes in boxes of seven capsules—one to be taken each day to achieve maximum fragrance.
Oh, and if flowers aren’t your thing, there’s apparently also a “vanilla taste” version available. We may never be able to eat ice cream again…
Those of you who are concerned about the smell of your own toots will be glad to know that Nonara is apparently on sale now all over Japan, costing just 401 yen (US$3.50), tax inclusive, for a week’s worth of capsules. No need to tell us if you do decide to buy some—if they work as well as the ad maintains, we’ll probably be able to smell you coming!