Jokes about balls – the true universal language.
The latest Pokémon GO update brought with it a new feature: appraisals for your Pokémon by your team leader (Candela for Valor, Blanche for Mystic, or Spark for Instinct). While that may sound like a perfectly harmless implementation, the fact that the leaders use your Pokémon’s nickname when evaluating them has led the internet to giggle over making them say inappropriate things.
▼ Blanche doesn’t look like she’s being entirely sincere…
▼ Whoa, hey there Spark! That one hits a little too close to home.
Of course, the update affects Japanese versions too, and the Japanese side of the internet has been showing that they’re not above laughing at genital jokes.
It started off with Exeggutes being appraised, which has the unfortunate name of Tamama in Japanese, basically translating to “balls.”
蜩(ﾋｸﾞﾗｼ) (@114514Tweet) August 24, 2016
“Overall your balls are marvelous, a work of art.”
“Your balls have really caught my eye.”
“Your balls are smaller than average.”
And that opened the floodgates for everybody to get their Kindergarten-giggle-inducing Pokémon names appraised.
▼ “This alone makes me so happy I’m on this team.”
ロペ (@lope_peca) August 24, 2016
“All right! Let’s take a look at your dick!”
“Overall your dick is not suited for battle, but I still like it.”
“Your dick is so small! You found a good one.”
伊集院@バボカ勢 (@pazu_nyan) August 24, 2016
“All right, let’s take a look at your My Balls.”
“Your My Balls is so small, it’s a new record. Marvelous.”
“Overall your My Balls are better than average.”
草野光/2日目 東 ア-32a (@gakkari_orz) August 23, 2016
“All right! Shall we take a look at your wee wee?”
“Overall, your wee wee is perfect. Very dependable.”
“Your wee wee is giant! The biggest I’ve ever seen.”
γμμγα (@G9Yzrv8sDOQgMpA) August 24, 2016
“The size of your dick… I can’t even classify it. How interesting.”
或夜@夏㍍⊃ (@alya__425) August 24, 2016
“Wow, your wee wee is tiny. Usually they’re a bit bigger than that.”
How much longer will Ninantic allow the dick jokes to last? We’d expect this to be “fixed” in the next update, though if it were up to the team leaders, it seems like at least one of them wouldn’t mind if it stuck around for a while: