And no, we’re not talking about dudes who work in waste management.
The relationship between a man and his penis is a unique one. Odds are he feels a stronger connection with it than any other singular piece of his anatomy. At the same time, more so than any other body part, it can be aggressively individualistic in expressing its needs and desires.
For example, few things are more distractingly uncomfortable for a guy than his baby-maker being in an awkward position inside his underwear. Still, it’s a situation most guys find themselves in fairly often, so underwear maker Wacoal conducted a survey to find out how many times a day Japanese men adjust their junk.
That’s not the sort of question you can just jump right into, though, whether or not you have a professional reason for asking. So Wacoal started its Internet survey of 2,121 men, ranging in age from 10 to 69, with a less startling query, asking how many shopped for their own underwear. Of the respondents, roughly 80 percent said they handled such purchases themselves, with the implication that the remainder had their underwear bought for them by a spouse or parent. When queried about what they looked for in choosing their underwear, the respondents gave comfort, color/pattern, and ventilation as their top three criteria.
And then the survey got really personal, asking how many times a day men reposition their replicator, and obtained the following data.
● 3 times a day (25 percent)
● 2 times (18 percent)
● 0 times (19 percent)
● 5 times (14 percent)
● 1 time (11 percent)
● 10 times or more (5 percent)
● 4 times (4 percent)
● 6 times (2 percent)
● 7 times (1 percent)
● 8 times (1 percent)
Let’s take another look at the data, arranged as a pie graph, because a bar graph would just be encouraging Japan to keeping cracking dick jokes.
▼ While still leaving the door open for “dick in the pie” jokes.
While three adjustments a day seems to be the most common lifestyle, let’s take a moment to admire the restraint, all-accepting attitude, or precision initial setting of the roughly one in five guys who slips on a pair of underwear in the morning and is set for the next 24 hours, never once needing to move his manliest part. And at the same time, let’s also appreciate the psychology of the one in twenty respondents whose daily adjustments climb into the double digits. Out of respect for their dedication to pursuing their ideals and never settling for anything less than perfection, we salute them, not just figuratively, but literally too, since we’d really rather not shake their hands.
If you’re satisfied with your positioning and your hands are free, why not see what Casey is up to on Twitter?
[ Read in Japanese ]