Don’t cry over spilled milk, but definitely cry over some of these.
We’ve seen mildly satisfying things before, like a rusty old knife being turned new again, or watching sumo wrestlers hand-stamp autographed papers.
But then there’s the opposite of “mildly satisfying,” the oft-forgotten “mildly infuriating” – things that hurt to look at, but are still bearable because you know they’re not the end of the world. They give you that sweet spot right between cringing and grinning, because you’ve experienced it before too, or if you haven’t yet, you know that it’ll be your turn soon enough.
Here’s a collection of the top 10 most mildly infuriating kitchen disasters that have made their way onto Japanese Twitter, for all of our sadistic (and sympathetic) viewing pleasure:
#10. Need a new nabe
かもしか (@kamoshika_00) December 16, 2013
Ah yes, the nabe. They’re clay bowls with lids that you put right over the flame of a stove or in the oven, and if you don’t do it correctly, it can crack right open and spoil your meal. That’s what it looks like happened here, though hopefully this unfortunate person was able to salvage most of their tofu, cabbage and sprout dinner.
#9. Spilled salt
たいらさおり＠海自2執筆中 (@saori_taira) August 06, 2015
We’ve all been there. The bag is putting up a fight to get opened, you try to rip it open as hard as you can, it’s not giving an inch… and then suddenly it explodes right out of your hands and onto the floor. We’d ask why this bag in particular had to be so spiteful against its opener, but it is a bag of salt after all.
#8. That’s not how you make nacho chips
しろにゃん (@_shironyan) January 24, 2016
Put some chips on a plate, put some cheese on the chips, and then put it all in the toaster oven for a few minutes to get it nice and melted. A recipe for deliciousness… or disaster, if you accidentally use a flammable plate.
#7. Deflated dumpling
いくじ (@__IKG) October 16, 2012
Usually when you put a nikuman (steamed bun with meat inside) into the microwave, it’s supposed to warm up and inflate into a balloon shape. But sometimes that can be a lot of pressure on the poor nikuman, and it gets performance anxiety and stays flat, leading to a depressing dinner.
#6. Minimalist rice cooker cooking
こいでつ (@applller) May 18, 2014
Sometimes when you’re cooking, your brain just completely wanders away to a different world, and when it comes back it gets a nice shock at the horror the body created while it was away. Case in point, this rice cooker that was filled with rice and water… without the bowl inside. Let’s just hope they didn’t turn it on!
#5. Cooking up some charcoal
一瞬何が起こったのか理解できなかった 世間よ、これが絶望だ。 https://t.co/HA0aihhqzQ—
チャリガマ (@gama216) February 03, 2016
Speaking of letting your mind wander, this person claims to have just taken their eyes off their delicious dinner for a moment when it suddenly turned charred black. Of course we know what probably really happened: the old went-to-the-bathroom-but-didn’t-want-to-lose-time-cooking-on-the-stove. Classic.
#4. There is no spoon
ゆゆ (@kero072) August 19, 2015
Sometimes ice cream just doesn’t want to be eaten, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. No matter how many spoons you try.
#3. No natto
納豆開けたら納豆入ってなかった。。 こんなことあるのか。。 http://t.co/p9CWzYFLCW—
Shizuku (@shizuku_waack) July 22, 2014
You sit down with your pack of natto, ready to crack it open and eat up some of those fermented soybeans, only to find that your packet is empty. There’s the little package of sauce, but the rest is only empty Styrofoam air. We’d say the universe has it out for you at that point, but honestly – you were trying to eat natto; you brought this upon yourself.
#2. So salty
面白画像・動画bot (@omoshiro_picmov) November 23, 2016
Oh salt, easily the saltiest of kitchen condiments. You just go in to add a little sprinkle from your Tupperware, and then the whole salt brick lunges its way right into your pot of eggs and broccoli. Maybe it’s time to invest in some shakers… with very, very secure lids.
And the #1 most mildly infuriating kitchen disaster is…
#1. The noodle that breaks the camel’s back
たからばこ (@takarabakotkg) February 21, 2016
You’ve just made a delicious bowl of noodles, you have a video prepped and ready on your computer to watch, and now it’s time to enjoy just those few pleasurable minutes you get in the day.
And then BAM! One small slip and instead of slurping up noodles with your mouth you’re mopping them up with paper towels, praying that you didn’t just destroy your computer. There’s no faster way to go from pleasurable to miserable than down a slippery slope made of wet noodles.
So there you have it, the top 10 most mildly infuriating kitchen disasters. Have you ever experienced any of these before? These disasters are beyond even the help of kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing things and making them look even cooler than before. But hey, as one cat showed us, when life gives you curtains, sometimes it’s best to go along for the ride.