”Perfect cooking” and “awesome cock” listed among the dueling criteria.
A cold snap has descended upon Japan over the past few days, but that doesn’t mean the country’s Internet users are too chilly to engage in a heated debate. Recently, Twitter user @l67cm_ set off a firestorm by sending an illustrated tweet along with the message “If girls make this their target, they’ll be popular with guys.”
そうめん (@l67cm_) December 10, 2016
Let’s take a look at the drawing’s annotations:
The ideal girlfriend. If you become like this, you’ll be popular
● Shiny, straight black hair
● Don’t draw attention to your appearance, but have a cuteness that people can see when they really look at you. Only use makeup on your eyebrows and lips!
● Have narrow, dainty shoulders.
● Don’t wear flashy colors. Of course, make sure your sleeves are long enough to hide your hands♡
● Even in winter, wear miniskirts without stockings.
● Have a build that makes other girls say “You’re so thin!” but not so much that guys will think you’re too skinny.
● “Wow!” “Yeah.” “I see.” “Really?” “That’s cool.” “That’s just like you.”
Only say these things. If you say anything else, you’ve blown your chance.
● Don’t think about yourself. If your ego starts to bud, you’ve blown your chance.
● Always smile. If you get in a bad mood, you’ve blown your chance.
● Be a perfectionist about doing housework. Cooking is especially important.
● During the day, be calm and collected, but be totally sexy in bed, and go along with any style of sex. However, don’t forget to act bashful. And of course, be a virgin!!
● Be smart, but dumber than the guy.
● Forgive anything a guy does. If you don’t, you’ve blown your chance.
That’s quite a lengthy list, and whenever someone expresses such strong opinions through such a prominent social media platform, a large number of supporters and detractors are going to let their voices be heard. In perhaps the fiercest rebuttal, another Twitter user, @To_AsteroidB666, fired back with a depiction of the ideal boyfriend.
ユウガ (@To_AsteroidB666) December 11, 2016
The ideal boyfriend
● Has ears that are able to hear what other people have to say.
● Has a mouth that can make responses like “I see,” or “Really?” to keep the conversation flowing.
● Has a body with muscles that feel good to touch.
● Can coordinate a fashionable outfit with inexpensive clothes.
● Has an awesome cock.
● Good listener. Knows 500 responses to keep the conversation flowing. If he says anything that’s not necessary to say, he’ll give his girlfriend 10,000 yen (US$88).
● Has no sense of self, but will give his girlfriend 20,000 yen.
● Always smiling. If he gets in a bad mood and his girlfriend gives him 2,000 yen, he’ll give her 70,000 yen later.
● He’s not so good at housework, but he gives his girlfriend 100,000 yen a month.
● Is sexy for sexy girls. Doesn’t ask for sex from girls who don’t want to have intercourse. Aside from that, he’ll give his girlfriend 200,000 yen.
● Is a complete idiot regarding things his girlfriend is knowledgeable about, and respects her for it. Regarding things she doesn’t know much about, he doesn’t say anything, and gives 300,000 yen.
● Will forgive his girlfriend for anything she does. For some reason, he gives her 500,000 yen.
While @To_AsteroidB666’s checklist gets extra weirdness points for its baffling monetary elements, neither of the two Twitter artists present anything close to a realistic representation of someone they’re likely to find in the dating pool. Here’s hoping they both learn to have more realistic expectations before they actually enter into a relationship with anyone (unless they end up together, since right now they sort of sound like they deserve each other).
Follow Casey on Twitter, where he’s guessing these artists’ favorite type of ramen broth is “salty.”