Creepy or cute? Read some of the letters yourself and find out.
Gacha crank machines are incredibly popular in Japan, with some stores having walls of nothing but dozens and dozens of the machines that you insert your coin into, turn the crank, and get a random capsule-sealed prize from.
But one gacha machine prize has recently come to the attention of the Internet and it is, dare we say, possibly the strangest one yet. We’ll let Japanese Twitter user @higebozu72 explain:
▼ “This gacha in Nagoya is too amazing! It’s a handwritten love letter gacha!
And the letters are crazy! It’s like I’m feeling Nagoya’s dark side lol.”
名古屋で見つけたガチャが凄すぎた！まさかの手書きラブレターのガチャ！ この内容はかなりヤバい！名古屋の闇を感じたねw https://t.co/BtpD6CmljI—
たくや (@higebozu72) May 04, 2017
▼ Yup, that’s right. For a mere 200 yen, you too can be the
proud owner of “A Letter from Kiki” as the machine advertises.
▼ The note reads: “How to play – Put the note in your friend’s shoe cubby/locker.”
Oh, Kiki. You are a little warmonger, aren’t you?
▼ Let’s take a look at what some of the high school love letters look like.
“It’s me Kiki, the girl who sits next to you.
Thank you for lending me your CD. We always have so much in common with our favorite music and things. I’ve been listening nonstop to the band you recommended to me the other day! I really like it (><) ♪
I heard they’re going to have a concert soon. I want to go, but just going by myself would be lonely. Do you want to come with me??
If you don’t want to that’s perfectly fine!
But, if you do want to go together, maybe we could have a really fun time! Since we only ever talk at school, I always think of things I want to tell you when I get home lol.
So maybe we could do other things together, not just the concert, but like go to karaoke or out to eat after school!
I have a ton of other things I want to tell you.
Tell me your answer tomorrow.
Oh, and don’t forget your textbook tomorrow!
I’m not gonna let you borrow mine anymore lol
▼ Hmm, okay. Got a little overbearing for a minute but not too bad, right?
“Hey, why didn’t you answer my phone call?
I waited for you a re~ally long time.
I like you so much… it’s lonely when you treat me like this….
When I can’t meet you, all I do is think about you!!
And, if I’m being serious, I want to be with you always .
I’ll be the only one with you, right?
I am yours only ❤ And you are mine only ❤
I won’t give you away to anyone, okay?
Not just on LINE messenger…
I want you to always be near me.
What can I do to make you mine only?
Don’t ignore me. Look at me always.
Look at me in the morning, noon, night, and when you’re sleeping too, okay?
Hey, I love you. Do you love me? Do you?
I’m thinking only of you today.
▼ Oh. Oh geez. That got real yandere real quick. Let’s look at another.
“You ignored my LINE message the other day, didn’t you?
What were you doing for those 30 minutes before I got the message that you’d ‘seen’ it?
What were you doing for those 3 hours before you sent a reply?
Just sending a stamp isn’t enough to help me understand.
I was worried so I went to your house but the lights weren’t on.
Where were you? Were you out with someone?
I’m busy with work too, but I still let you know where I’m going.
I like you, so I make the time for you. Isn’t that just common sense?
Every day at work I think about you so much that it can be a distraction.
How much you do you think about me every day?
Please send your reply soon.
Um, Kiki, I think we need to have a talk about boundaries. Specifically a giant, impenetrable boundary between you and, uh, everyone.
At first I thought these were just going to be cute little notes for creepy old guys to read to themselves and roleplay with, similar to buying used school uniforms or panties. But no, these are 100-percent crafted for you to pull the ultimate prank on your friend and make them think that they’re being stalked by a psycho girlfriend they didn’t even know they had.
Here’s how Japanese netizens responded:
“That was… not what I expected.”
“Rather than a ‘love letter’ this looks like ‘murder evidence.'”
“That’s a lot of work to make a handwritten letter for only 200 yen.”
“They do look very authentic. High quality!”
“If I was a creepy old guy who bought one of these, I’d freak out.”
“Enh, chances are they’re written by a creepy old guy anyway.”
So unfortunately for anyone out there who was looking forward to living vicariously through an innocent, imaginary love letter, it seems you’ll have to look elsewhere for now. May we instead recommend simply renting a girlfriend for a while instead?