When in doubt, the answer is always “more pie“.
When Starbucks Japan first released the American Cherry Pie Frappuccino a month ago, we were absolutely baffled by the sheer ridiculousness of it, like puppies staring blankly at a new toy, uncertain what to do with it. Do we eat this? Do we play with it? How are we supposed to drink this… thing!? Eventually we overcame our hesitance and went down the rabbit hole, and by golly did it taste awesome!
The addition of a flaky pie dome lifted an otherwise ordinary cherry Frappuccino to legendary status. Starbucks then rode the wave and launched a promotion, running until May 16, allowing customers to put a crusty dome on any of their favorite Frappuccinos. Each pie dome costs just 50 yen (US$0.44).
▼ Now no Frappuccino is complete without a pie dome.
Our trusty Japanese-language reporter P.K. Sanjun, however, was already over the cherry pie craze. Always on the lookout for fresh new challenges, he sought to make the drink even more sensational than it already was. His conclusion was this: more pie was needed!
Convinced that countless other people shared his burning desire to be buried in pie, our brave reporter sauntered into the nearest Starbucks store and promptly asked the clerk to place as many pie domes on his drink as possible.
“That’ll be two pie domes, so that the plastic lid can still fit over your Frappuccino,” came the polite reply.
Well, two domes certainly sounded better than one, but to Sanjun, this wasn’t the pie heaven he was hoping for. In the name of research, our reporter bought five separate pie domes, dead certain that it would all work out somehow.
Rubbing his hands with glee, Sanjun wasted no time in plopping all five pie domes on his American Cherry Pie Frappuccino.
What a resounding success! His drink was now upgraded to an American Cherry Pie Pie Pie Pie Pie Frappuccino. The only problem was that since he had no way of putting on the plastic lid that held everything together, it was impossible to crush the pie domes to reach that delicious Frappucino, but the amount of pie was now out of this world.
▼ Our straws are not ready for this monstrosity.
Instead of abandoning his crusade, Sanjun opted for the slow and steady approach, crushing the pie domes one by one into his Frappuccino. There was so much of it that all he sucked up from the straw was flaky pie crust; it was truly the pie heaven he envisioned!
▼ So this is what Earth looks like from heaven.
Sanjun concluded that five pie domes was the absolute limit if one wished to enjoy Frappuccino. More than that and the domes would start to soak up all the water of the drink, making pie-sucking literally impossible.
▼ The plastic lid fits on perfectly when there’s two pie domes.
Our brilliant reporter also highly recommends that you discuss the various options with a Starbucks clerk should you wish to purchase more than one pie dome. Hurry though, as this pie topping promotion ends on May 16. May the pie be with you!
[ Read in Japanese ]