They say you’ve got to take the good with the bad in a relationship, but in these cases, they’d rather pass on the whole thing.
When looking for love, it’s important to evaluate a potential romantic partner as a basket of their attractive and unattractive qualities. No one person is perfect, and so moving forward with a romance is largely a decision born of the positives outweighing the negatives, as opposed to finding a flawless ideal.
That said, there’s a limit to how much human beings can compromise and still be happy. Japanese survey site Minna no Koe recently posed the question “What characteristics in a woman would make you think it’d be impossible to have a romance with her?” Responses were tallied from 869 male participants, and below are their top seven unclearable hurdles.
7. Her speech or body language are masculine (chosen by 6 percent of respondents)
While any language has certain words and phrases more likely to be used by one gender than another, the delineation is particularly stark in Japanese, though, where men and women often use different words even for the pronoun “I,” and once a woman’s speaking style exceeds a certain level of machoness, some guys said they couldn’t cope.
6. She often complains or talks about being unhappy (6.3 percent)
While no one likes a complainer, cutting someone out of your potential dating pool just because they’re currently unhappy might sound kind of cold-hearted. At the same time, it’s pretty common knowledge that misery loves company, which might explain why these men were wary of entering into a relationship with a woman if so many of their interactions revolve around discussing dissatisfaction.
5. She’s considerate only towards the person she’s got a crush on (6.9 percent)
It’s the “only” part that was the hang-up here, which perhaps isn’t so surprising in a society like Japan’s, where being group-minded and showing concern for the feelings of others are regularly held up as virtues of the highest order.
4. She’s got a selfish, princess-like mentality (18 percent)
The flip-side of not being particularly considerate towards other people, this red flag has the added issue that Her Highness’ boyfriend will have to attend to her every whim.
3. She looks like she’s having so much fun when she’s bad-mouthing other people (19.3 percent)
Even if you agree with her sentiments, it’s pretty hard to enjoy your time with a girl who’s favorite thing to do is trash other people behind their backs, because who knows what she’s going to say about you when you turn yours?
2. She’s wasteful and poor at managing her finances (19.4 percent)
Thinking long-term, cohabitating with a romantic partner means not only sharing a home, but your finances as well, and many respondents who were thinking long term didn’t relish the idea of bailing out a girlfriend or spouse who can’t control her spending.
1. She has poor hygiene (20.4 percent)
And finally, the top choice is, in certain ways, the opposite of the number-two response. Whereas poor finances is mainly a problem for serious couples in the future the issue is much more in the here-and-now if someone’s hygiene is spoiling the mood through visual or olfactory means.
But with both being legitimate concerns, why did poor hygiene receive more votes? Maybe because financial woes can be the result of poor past choices, the lingering effects of which can take months, if not years, of difficult lifestyle changes to sort out. On the other hand, a lot of hygiene problems can be eliminated with regular showers and basic grooming, and if someone still finds those countermeasures too troublesome after reaching adulthood, she’s not likely to change her attitude in the future.