If hilariously bad game programming were an Olympic sport, this game would grab gold.
The 2020 Tokyo Olympics is coming closer every day, and Japan is doing its best to appeal to a Japanese pop culture-loving audience. We’ve already seen them favor a manga-themed opening ceremony over a kabuki-themed one, and nearly all of their official ambassadors are characters from anime or video games.
With all that planning then, it would be a shame if somehow things got a little… glitchy when the Olympics were underway.
To see what we mean, check out this video posted by Japanese Twitter user @1150J (originally posted on NicoNico Douga). It shows what happens when all the laws of gravity and physics decide to go haywire… or just what happens when game programmers presumably die at the keyboard:
▼ “I’ve never seen game bugs this terrible before.”
(Click to play video.)
すぺんど (@1150J) July 25, 2017
Oh sweet Sally that is some silly sports-ing!
The video starts off strong with upside-down runners sticking their heads through solid ground, and it just gets better from there. The replay after the race is a thing of beauty, not only failing to show the actual travesty of a race that happened, but having the racers shoot off at light speed in the opposite direction. All the while music meant to pump you up plays in the background, accentuating the absurdity.
And then the pole vault. Oh yes. The way he keeps running, and running, and running (all the while getting “perfect!” scores), and then leaps into the audience… it’s a thing of beauty. And again the replays, and their comically indifferent background music is the perfect spice on top of the poop pie.
Here’s what Japanese netizens thought:
“Oh god, my stomach and jaw hurt from laughing so much!”
“Haha I definitely should not have watched that on the train.”
“Is this the Olypmics where supernatural beings competed?”
“These are some god-tier bugs right here.”
“Oh! I know this game. It’s Konami’s Hyper Olympics in Atlanta for the PS1.”
Well Konami certainly got the “hyper” part of the game right. Now if only they could’ve gotten the game to work properly, that would’ve been a real accomplishment!
Although we have to wonder, is this just a taste of things to comes in 2020? Japan is already taking its Akira anime connection a little too far, so could the Tokyo Olympics be the birthplace of mutant athletes?!
Probably not. But it’d certainly get me to buy a ticket.