Steven Simonitch

Writer / Translator

Though a native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Steven currently resides in Nagano, Japan, where he is known by the old lady at the supermarket as "the white guy who always buys 2 packs of natto." Having finished a 2 year stint teaching English with the JET program, Steven now spends his days writing silly things about Japan while vainly insisting to his parents that he's a "journalist" working for an established "newspaper."

Aside from writing banal stories about hot Asian women and cheeseburgers, Steven is also working with dojin circle Creative Freaks to localize their fitness app/ Japanese dating sim series, Burn your fat with me!! (known as Nensho! in Japan).

All Stories by Steven

Fan-Made “Dragon Ball Z: Saiyan Saga” Trailer is Finally Out! Take Notes, Hollywood

Dec 6, 2012 by Steven
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Big-budget live-action remakes of anime and manga are tricky business. One one hand, you’ve got to please the fans, who you know will be sitting in the theater with pen and paper scrutinizing every scene. But you also have to make money, which often means watering down the source material to make it digestible for regular movie-goers. As a result, live-action remakes are usually denounced by fans (and critics), but still manage to turn a profit in the box office.

This is why we love DragonBall Z: Saiyan Saga, a live-action non-profit Dragon Ball Z trailer made by fans not because they want to make a buck, but because they love the series so damn much.

The 5 minute 44 second trailer was finally released on YouTube yesterday after months of production, and looks absolutely amazing. Check it out below!

Dec 6, 2012 by Steven
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We’ve run quite a few stories about crossdressing in Japan over the past few months, which may have some of you wondering if dressing up in drag has become something of a fashion craze among Japanese men.

It turns out it has among one demographic, according to Nikkan Spa, who reports that over the past few years there have been an increasing number of reports of normal, middle-aged Japanese men walking around Tokyo in drag.

Dec 5, 2012 by Steven
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During a brief stint teaching English at a rural elementary and junior high school in Japan a few years ago, I was surprised to see how much more fashionable Japanese kids are than their American counterparts.

Not actually at school; they were all in their school or gym uniforms on schooldays (though many elementary schools now allow personal clothes). But when the weekend hit, many of my students would transform into little fashionistas and roam the local shopping mall—with a parent or guardian, of course.

I always wondered where they picked up their fashion sense from, and after seeing a few pages from JS Girl, a semimonthly fashion magazine for elementary school-aged girls in Japan, I think I finally get it, and it makes me a little sad.

Dec 3, 2012 by Steven
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There’s nothing quite like taking a dip in a hot springs to warm chilled bones during the cold months. In Japan, soaking in hot springs water, or onsen, is considered the ultimate form of relaxation—so much that even Japanese animals, such as the “snow monkeys” of northern Nagano, seek them out.

But it’s not just native species who appreciate Japan’s thermal waters; every year, Izu Shaboten Park, a theme park and zoo located in Ito City Shizuoka, runs a hot springs for their capybara to help them make it through Japan’s cold winter season.

Dec 2, 2012 by Steven
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Yes, you read the title correctly: while Americans are stocking their shopping carts with presents for their friends and family, Japanese shoppers are fighting over the last box of Mega Big Boys.

Okay, that may be slightly exaggerated, but according to JEX Condoms, sales of condoms in Japan increase by roughly 8% around the winter holidays, the bulk of which is thought to occur before or during Christmas Eve.

But why? Do Japanese people have nothing better to stuff their stockings with? Not quite, and to understand why condoms sell so well on the holiest of nights, we need to take a look at how the holiday is celebrated by many people in the country.

Dec 2, 2012 by Steven
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Japan provides its lonely men with plenty of way to find sweet respite from the emptiness and isolation of everyday life—provided you have the cash. And we’re not just talking about prostitution: you can rent a girlfriend at Moé Date for day of “simulate romance” or find a cuddle partner at Soine-ya to help you rest easy at night.

But what about the ladies? Women get lonely too, so it seems unfair that such services would only be available to men.

Believe it or not, even before either of the above establishments were in business, there was Soine-ya Prime, a dispatch service where women can hire a handsome young man to lay with her in bed for a night.

Dec 1, 2012 by Steven
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Characters with weapons in place of body parts is an idea that’s been explored many times across different forms of media. Ash from Evil Dead had a chainsaw for a hand, Barret from Final Fantasy VII had a minigun for an arm, Edward Scissorhands had scissor…hands…

But never before has the anatomy arsenal trope been done like Zetsurin!, a new manga series about Keisuke, a young man with a long barrel revolver for a penis.

Dec 1, 2012 by Steven
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Few things are more physically taxing on a woman’s body than the 9-month gauntlet of pregnancy and childbirth, which is why it’s amazing 23-year-old Hong Kong model Mia Chan has gone through it twice already.

Dec 1, 2012 by Steven
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In any country there are both written and unwritten rules of etiquette that people are expected to follow while riding the subway. In many cases, these rules reflect some of the more unflattering quirks of that country’s people. In Japan, there are women-only commuter cars because some guys just can’t help themselves from recording up a girl’s skirt with their smartphone.

As China has been working to expand its subway network over the past few years, including a nearly 50% increase to the Beijing Subway that as made it the fourth longest metro system in the world, the country has developed its own brand of metro manners— or the complete lack thereof .

So just what kind of offenses do Chinese subway commuters have to endure on their train rides to and from work? A local newspaper in Tianjin, China’s fourth largest city, surveyed 894 people to find out what they think are the “most unforgivable subway manners.”

Take a look at the survey results below!

Nov 29, 2012 by Steven
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First time visitors to Japan may be surprised to see so many people wearing surgical masks in public.

There are a few reasons for this, the most common being that they are sick and are wearing a mask to keep their nasty germs to themselves in consideration of those around them. Likewise, many people also wear a mask to guard themselves from whatever illness is going around. Others use it vainly to shield their faces from the onslaught of cedar pollen that descends upon the masses every spring.

Then there are those who wear masks because they’re self-conscious about the way they look or have something they want to hide, like a pimple or even their emotions.

In particular, wearing surgical masks for cosmetic and comfort purposes has become so popular among young people in Japan over the past few years that the media has begun labeling it as a “fashion trend.”

Nov 29, 2012 by Steven
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Men, no matter how old or how “masculine” they are, can learn a lot from crossdressing in public (trust us, we know).

But even if you do get the urge to unbuckle and skirt up, it can be difficult to find a time and place where going out in drag is socially acceptable. Throw in the added stress of having to coordinate an outfit and wig that sufficiently bring out your inner woman and the simple act of putting on women’s clothes and walking out the door can feel incredibly intimidating to first-timers.

Enter Onna no Ko Club, or Girls Club, a new club in Tokyo where curious men can go to experience the wonderful world of crossdressing.

Nov 29, 2012 by Steven
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Most humanoid robots are made to look either as lifelike as possible, or as machine-like as possible; that is, similar to the robots we know from science fiction.

After seeing the “Dancing Dolls” made by YouTube user RozenZebet, we have a feeling we know why: anything in between would be absolutely terrifying.

Nov 28, 2012 by Steven
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It’s been a little over a week since Evangelion 3.0: You Can (Not) Redo opened in theaters across Japan and the film has already grossed 2.8 billion yen (about US$34 million), making it the most successful film of the year domestically.

If you still can’t get enough Eva, Chinese artist Lu Yang has created a short tribute film for the celebrated animated series that involves high fashion, interpretive dance, and Chinese fire cupping.

True to the spirit of Evangelion, the film is artistic, bizarre, and slightly disturbing.

Nov 26, 2012 by Steven
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This might be what Toy Story would look like if it were made by Japanese nerds: amazing, fluid animation, incomprehensible story line. There’s even an appearance by Hentai Woody

Check the video, called “The Worst Thing”, below:

Nov 25, 2012 by Steven
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You have to admit, Japan really knows how to raise money for a good cause. First there was the charity breast squeeze back in August, which managed to raise over 4,000,000 yen (US$48,500) in two days, all of which was donated to an AIDS charity.

Now, in honor of World AIDS Day, Japanese adult goods maker TENGA is asking men across the globe to take matters into their own hands by selling a line of limited-edition designer male sex toys and donating all the proceeds to AIDS awareness and prevention.

Nov 25, 2012 by Steven
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Japanese men hold their virtual girlfriends in high regard. Even among those who eventually find a real girlfriend and get married, there are some men who struggle to abandon their digital partner.

Especially after the release of Love Plus, an addictive open-ended dating simulator for the Nintendo DS that went on to sell over 250,000 copies in Japan, stories of men who were busted by their girlfriends or wives while playing—as well as stories of men whose wives played with them—became a common sight on the internet.

While everyone has their own level of tolerance for 2D infidelity, you’d have to be one hell of a woman to allow you husband to bring his virtual girlfriend to your most important day as a couple: your wedding.

Nov 25, 2012 by Steven
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Maid cafes have become a quintessential symbol of Japanese otaku culture and many foreigners who visit Japan make a trip to one an essential stop on their travel itinerary.

In recent years, some enterprising foreigners have even opened maid cafes back home, though some argue that they don’t translate well into other cultures and that foreign girls look awkward trotting about in stylized French maid costumes. In some cases, it is (see the video at the end of this article).

However, doubters need only look to Moscow’s first ever maid cafe, Otaky, which boasts a staff of young Russian maids so cute that even Japan acknowledges they’re doing it right.

Nov 24, 2012 by Steven
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Fashion models who appear on online shopping sites get a lot less attention than their counterparts on the runway and in print. Industry and magazine models are chosen to represent well-known brands; there’s a sense of distinction to be had in saying you were on the cover of Vogue and walked the runway for Gucci, and you can pose confidently knowing that eyes go to you first and the product second.

Models on online shops, however, are seen by designers as nothing more than fleshy mannequins, employed to make their clothes look good.

But no longer! Now there is a Japanese website that shines the spotlight on internet retail fashion models, proving to the world that they’re more than just another pretty .jpeg!

Nov 24, 2012 by Steven
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Minimalist Pixel Art is the term given to a series of simplified, multi-colored block representations of iconic characters. They quickly achieved meme status after appearing on the web in 2010, and were even given physical shape with a German ad campaign for LEGO earlier this year.

The original images have also made the rounds in Japan, where they are known as “pictures that people well get if they know them”, and have recently inspired some Japanese netizens on internet message board 2channel to start a minimalist pixel party of their own.

Take a look at the images in the gallery below, and don’t feel bad if a few fly over your head: you’ll need a pretty firm grounding in Japanese culture to recognize a few of them.