I have to admit, I’ve always been a little confused about what’s going on in the Harry Potter movies series. Does Hogwarts exist in another dimension, or is it just located in a part of the English countryside so isolated that no one notices the packs of monsters roaming the forest and flying through the skies? Why does the debate about whether or not “Voldemort is back” continue for years after he’s first seen? And why are all these super-powered wizards too lily-livered to say the dude’s name?
But perhaps my biggest question is this: What’s the deal with all the melons?
Wait, you don’t know about the melons? Or about Harry’s middle management struggles as he climbs the corporate ladder? Then read on for all of these plot elements added to the beloved franchise by Chinese bootleg subtitles.