funny

Panties return to Japanese vending machines, but this time as pervy coasters for plastic bottles

Japan’s used panty vending machines are sort of like the white whale in Moby-Dick, even though a completely pure-white color would be a sign of inauthenticity in their merchandise. For decades, the obsessed have been combing Japan for them, but the fact that the scandalous machines were outlawed years ago means that while you can go home from a shadey back-alley vending machine bank with ramen in your belly, you won’t have a schoolgirl’s panties in your pocket.

On rare occasions, though, you can find vending machines that sell new undies. And while they’re definitely a niche product, there’s a new player in the market that’s satisfying customers with its cute little panties, thanks to the fact that they’re extra absorbent and also coaster substitutes.

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Chinese Super League keeper lets in goal while getting a drink of water 【Video】

The sport of football (or soccer or whatever you want to call it) has been around for a long time and is played well around the world. As such you’d probably think you’ve seen it all by now, but the sport never ceases to surprise and amaze.

This time an incident occurred at a Chinese Super League match between Liaoning Whowin and Chongqing Lifan. With Liaoning trailing by one goal late in the second half, things were looking grim. At least they were until fate stepped in and gave Chongqing keeper Sui Weijie a parched throat at the worst possible moment…

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7-Eleven store manager writes the most sincere, desperate job ad we’ve ever seen

If you are unemployed and living in Japan, we may have found a perfect job for you. No experience is necessary, it’s a pretty safe gig and you won’t have to do anything too difficult. You will, however, be a savior, a hero, and a knight in shining armor for one overworked, stressed-out, and understaffed, 7-Eleven store manager in Tokyo.

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How hentai are YOU? Find out with this Japanese personality test!

This Japanese personality test, which is doing the rounds on Twitter this week, claims to reveal the inner workings of your subconscious by putting you in an impossible situation and asking you to choose between four equally unpleasant options.

We’re not making any claims about the accuracy of this test, but we do think it’s pretty hilarious. Join us after the jump to find out how big a pervert you are.

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Robot sumo wrestlers fire laser blasts in crazy, free-to-play horse racing browser game

Aside from having particularly large members of the animal kingdom as their stars, sumo wrestling and horse racing don’t have a whole lot in common. But the sport of kings and the sport of heavy, scantily clad men are teaming up in a cross-promotion that’s bizarre even by the standards of Japanese marketing, with Japan Sumo Derby, a free-to-play browser game filled with sumo wrestlers riding famous Japanese race horses.

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Kitties take notice: Maru the cat shows off his new, trendy walking style with cardboard box

As stated directly on our Facebook page, RocketNews24 strives to bring you the very best of “News, entertainment and wonderfully weird stuff from Japan and Asia. Oh, and cats. Obviously.”

We take those words very seriously, and what better way to live up to them than by sharing a post about cats IN Japan? Everyone, it’s time for another round of your favorite silly kitty Maru, starring in “Maru’s new walking style!”

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Neiger, the Akita superhero who’s keeping the people safe and fed by growing rice

We’ve talked before about yuru-kyara, Japan’s adorable illustrated mascots. But cute manga-style horses and anthropomorphic pears aren’t the only local spokescharacters you’ll find in Japan, as some regions of the country are also represented by “Local Heroes,” (Gotouchi Hiro in Japanese), Power Ranger or Kamen Rider-like defenders of their communities.

One of the more popular Local Heroes is Neiger, whose mission is to protect Akita Prefecture’s people, mountains, and seas. Akita is a pretty safe and sleepy part of Japan, though, and not exactly the kind of place that’s under constant threats that require a superhero-level response. So what’s he been doing with all of his downtime?

Growing rice, apparently.

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Another cat rises to internet fame, proves he can be just as stretchy as his name

What would the Internet be without cats? Yes, I am a dog-lover too, and our canine companions have their own rightful place in the worldwide web, but it is, without a doubt, the cat’s kingdom. This week’s new rising feline star is Tororo, an adorable white and orange Scottish-fold cat from Japan, who is doing an excellent job of imitating the stretchy characteristics of his namesake.

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Watch out, guys! This sumo stadium seat’s got teeth

As with a lot of very traditional, very storied sports like bullfighting or, I don’t know, bocce ball, sumo wrestling tends to attract an older demographic of spectators. In fact, kids these days aren’t even really all that interested in sumo, probably because of its near endless pre-fight ritual that often lasts many times longer than the quick, 30-second payoff of the actual bout.

But old folks, well, they’ve got all the time in the world and really love all the old-timey belly slapping and posturing, so it’s pretty common when you watch sumo on TV or even go to the stadium yourself to see the stadium filled with octogenarians. And with some older folks being a little on the forgetful side, we’d imagine there’s a large variety of forgotten items left in stadium seats…

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Fail ninja explains all the fail falls of the Internet

Watching people fall unexpectedly is our guilty little pleasure, so what could possibly make it better? How about Japan’s legendary assassins popping in at opportune moments to cause such falls? Face plants are great, but when they are caused by a ninja they become a lot funnier. Don’t take our word for it though; see the video after the jump!

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36 more humorous glimpses of Asia 【Pics】

Need a little laugh to help ease yourself into the week?

In the past, we’ve featured some photo fun from Asia35 signs you might be in Asia, as well as 39 looks at the lighter side of Asia. This time, we’re bringing you 36 more bizarre, comical, and downright nonsensical scenes from around Asia!

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Never miss an important call again at the office with our bra lifehack!

For those of us working in high-tech societies, connection and communication can be as valuable as any resource. A single missed call can turn into a missed business chance, so making sure you can be reached no matter how furiously you’re typing is important. But at the office, no one wants to be that jerk that just leaves their ringer on. And it’s pretty easy to miss a call with just vibration mode.

However, the writers for the Japanese-language side of RocketNews24 may have come up with a solution for you. All you need to do is keep your phone in range of view while you’re using the computer. There are, obviously, a number of ways to do this, but our writer P.K. thinks he’s found the best way: With a bra!

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Chinese man dresses up as woman to spy in bathrooms, has no idea what women look like

It’s getting harder and harder to be a Peeping Tom. With anti-chikan policies and people becoming more vigilant at younger ages, they have to get creative if they’re going to get their illegal jollies.

But sometimes it’s possible to get a little too creative. One man in China dressed up as a woman so he could sneak peeks in women’s restrooms. But based on the costume he chose, it’s not entirely clear if he’s ever actually seen a woman before in his life.

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The secret, sudden sport Japanese cat owners play with their pets

Considering how much easier it is to get a dogs to play Fetch than cats, you might assume that a pet pooch gives you more ample opportunities to play together than a kitty companion. However, as one Japanese Twitter user has reminded us, there’s one game, or maybe we should call it a competitive sport, that any cat would be thrilled to play with its owner.

Similar to Fetch, it requires a stick to play. Well, actually two sticks, plus just one other item.

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Someone help this poor, dying cat! Oh, wait, never mind 【Trollcats】

A Japanese Twitter user was in for a gruesome surprise on Thursday when, while out getting some fresh air, he stumbled across an exceedingly unfortunate cat that appeared to have been heinously murdered in the streets (perhaps by some Bad Rats).

The doomed feline was lying on its side near what appears to be a parking lot, with copious amounts of “blood spatter” forming a grisly trail to the poor kitty.

But, there’s more to this crime scene than meets the eye.

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Watching Japanese people try Marmite for the first time will brighten your day [Video]

Pretty much every culture has at least one food or drink that, unless you grew up eating it, you probably don’t like. For example, the first time most foreigners try natto, Japan’s infamous fermented soy beans, the pure disgust may also make it the last time they ever try it. In the opposite direction, America’s root beer doesn’t have the best track record in Japan either.

YouTuber Chris Broad, from Abroadin Japan, has brought another such food to Japan: a traditional condiment from his homeland of the UK that is not even loved by all Brits: Marmite. As he puts it, “people tend to either love it or hate it.” With this in mind, Broad set up a camera so we could watch the reaction of Japanese people trying the polarizing food for the first time.

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The mysterious ways of Japanese mums that never fail to mess with our heads and funny bones

Mothers. They’re the amazing beings who carried us in their tummies and brought us into this world. Some of us live with one, some of us can’t wait to move away from one. Some mums are fashionable and love parties, some can’t send a text message without messing up a few words every time, some tend to nag too much, and some bake the best cookies in the world.

The bottom line is, every mum is unique in her own way, and they’re lovable for all their strengths and flaws…especially when they have their own hilarious methods of doing things, like the mums of these Japanese Twitter users!

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Nike the sleepy pooping cat reminds us all to enjoy life’s little pleasures 【Pics】

We’ve seen a lot of adorable cats here on RocketNews24. There’s cats politely waiting outside convenience stores, cats being stored on shelves, and a whole island of cats just waiting for you to come feed them and scratch their heads.

If you’re like us though and your hunger for cute cat pic simply cannot be satiated, then take a look at Nike, the adorably sleepy Japanese cat who’s been paws-itively blowing up Japanese Twitter recently. Side effects of looking at Nike’s pictures may include pro-cat-stination of work you should be doing, feline like you’re going to laugh, and wanting to take a catnap of your own.

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Limo-bike? Stretch scooter? Whatever you call it, it’s long, pink and has two wheels

No matter what the car, giving it a stretch in the middle makes it a posher ride. I’m pretty sure that’s a rule of some sort. But does it apply to other vehicles? If you stretched a scooter to ridiculous lengths, for example, and then gave it a pink paint job and a bright yellow seat, would that make it cooler?

At least one person clearly thought so.

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Our writers show you how to have the most fun at the new Hooters in Tokyo 【Pics】

Spring is a time for new beginnings as well as a great time to open new shops and businesses, and people are eager to escape from their apartments where they spent most of the winter season. Luckily, there are plenty of grand openings everywhere you turn this time of year, which is why our intrepid writers were met with a 100-plus-person line at the new Hooters location near the West Entrance of Tokyo’s Shinjuku Station on May 18.

They couldn’t make it into the restaurant on opening day, so they decided to go back the next day, with a twist! What better way to enjoy the newest Hooters restaurant in Japan than by cosplaying the Hooters costume?

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