funny

“Papa, read this in the bathroom!” – Daughter’s letter manages to get stranger from there

It must be a proud moment in any parent’s life when his or her children start learning how to write. Still, you can only expect so much in terms of penmanship, clever phrasing, or even actual meaning when a preschooler puts pen (or more likely pencil) to paper.

Nevertheless, this Japanese Twitter user was probably moved when he found out his young daughter had written a letter just for him. He was also probably a little puzzled, though, that she specifically instructed him to read it while in the bathroom, and believe it or not, the story gets weirder from there.

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World’s energy problems solved! Pikachu’s problems just beginning

Nuclear disasters, noxious gas emissions filling the air, and with no way for major corporations to make obscene amounts of money from any of the other sources of power, it would seem the world still can’t find a great way for clean and renewable energy sources to change our lives for the better.

“But then I thought, hey look at all these little electric mice we got running around,” remembers Kanto Power’s head-engineer and former pokémon breeder Buraku Takeshi. “Why, I bet if we’d slap some jumper cables on just one, we could light up 10 square blocks.”

And so, a new way to power our lives have been born. But at what cost?

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Can you spot this art mistake that turns sports anime Prince of Tennis into a horror story?

For many who grew up watching western cartoons on TV, their first experience with anime can make the world of Japanese animation seem impossibly dynamic and artistic. But while anime usually boasts more complex designs, varied perspectives, and generally more polished visuals than its western counterpart, it’s not like Japanese animation is a purely artistic endeavor. As with any other commercial product, the final quality of the project is limited by time and budget constraints.

In other words, sometimes mistakes turn up in the art, like this subtle yet chilling gaffe one Prince of Tennis fan spotted.

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Otter covers itself with dead flesh, is somehow still cute

Usually when someone wants to wear a dead thing’s skin, we call the police or at least make a really creepy movie. But if that someone is an otter, it’s suddenly super cute.

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Two Japanese baseball mascots meet in the outfield for a kick to the face and shot to the head

Japanese sports in general place an emphasis on discipline, sportsmanship, and respect for the game. Even though baseball was imported in fairly modern times from America, these traditional values are still in full play, as showboating and taunting on the diamond are frowned upon as much as they are in the sumo ring.

Normally, these high standards of conduct extend to everyone in the ball park, players, fans, and stadium employees included. One recent game, though, saw an odd bit of violence between opposing mascots, including a boot to the face and baseball remix of a gangland-style execution.

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Tokyo Disneyland’s Buzz Lightyear has a friend in Woody, and also a friend in his crotch

There are only so many hours in a day, which means all the time you devote to listening to Japanese girls’ rock bands or learning a half-dozen ways to says “breasts” in Japanese means less time for soaking up mainstream American pop culture. As a result, I’ve got some pretty big gaps in my Hollywood movie-watching history, but at least I know their basic plots because they’ve been talked about and referenced elsewhere so much.

For example, I know Titanic is about an elderly woman fondly remembering some dude she hooked up with on a cruise 70 years ago, who was apparently so good in the sack that she has no time on her deathbed to remember her children or the man who fathered them. Forest Gump is about remarkably patient bus travelers who are willing to listen to the life story a complete stranger because of his vague promises of giving them chocolate at some point.

And Toy Story, as I can infer from these Tokyo Disneyland photos, is about how a humble cowboy and abrasive astronaut learn to overcome their differences and become pals when one gives the other a hand job, right?

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Nine cats + fifteen boxes = CATastic fun 【Video】

Any cat owner knows that it’s not the awesome new toy that’s exciting for your pet, but the cardboard box that the toy comes in. No matter how much you spend on the toy, you might as well have just gone to the grocery store and picked up a dozen cardboard boxes. So why not set up a fort of boxes and just let the cats play?

That’s because the mayhem is too cute for words.

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Can you make butter using a bottle of cream and a sports car? Mr. Sato’s Wild Ride 【Video】

Last fall, we looked at an issue very close to our hearts (and arteries): the continuing butter shortage in Japan. In times of crisis, it goes without saying that the Japanese people look to RocketNews24 for leadership and guidance, and we came up with a solution.

While it’s getting harder to find butter in Japan, milk and cream are still easy to come by, and if you shake cream hard enough for an extended time you end up with butter. But while our athletically toned staff would ordinarily be up to such a task, we have to keep our arms’ musculature in prime, rested condition for the hours of typing that go into our articles. That’s why we turned to something just as powerful as a team of Internet writers, as automaker Nissan supplied us with a high-powered sports car.

Lacking hands, though, it’s not like a car can grip the handle of a butter churner. So instead, we grabbed a bottle of cream, hopped in the car, and tore off for several laps around one of Japan’s most famous racing circuits, with the goal of subjecting the cream to enough g-forces to turn it into butter. Did our plan work? Read on and find out!

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Godzilla gets official Tokyo residency papers, copies being given out free to fans

You could make a long list about all the ways Japan is uniquely awesome (and as a matter of fact, we just did), but it’s not like every aspect of life in Japan is more enjoyable than in other countries. For example, taking care of paperwork at city hall or other government facilities is as boring as it is anywhere else in the world.

So why is it that this week people have been voluntarily visiting the Shinjuku ward office in the heart of Tokyo? Because they want to get a copy of the official residency document of the district’s newest resident, Godzilla!

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Century-old cosplay photo exists for a reason as bizarre as its dog vs. monkey sumo match

With the rise of otaku culture Japan is in its golden age of anime events, which means that cosplay is bigger than ever. But it turns out that even before there were Internet forums, prop suppliers, and even dedicated themed cosplay photo studio complexes, people in Japan were dressing up in fantasy costumes and posing for the camera.

As a matter of fact, this photo from more than a century ago shows that the roots of cosplay predate Japanese animation itself. But with no anime conventions or social media outlets through which to show off their outfits, why did this group bother? Suffice to say the reason for this photo shoot is about as unexpected as the costumed scene itself: a giant monkey about to sumo wrestle a biped dog.

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Panties return to Japanese vending machines, but this time as pervy coasters for plastic bottles

Japan’s used panty vending machines are sort of like the white whale in Moby-Dick, even though a completely pure-white color would be a sign of inauthenticity in their merchandise. For decades, the obsessed have been combing Japan for them, but the fact that the scandalous machines were outlawed years ago means that while you can go home from a shadey back-alley vending machine bank with ramen in your belly, you won’t have a schoolgirl’s panties in your pocket.

On rare occasions, though, you can find vending machines that sell new undies. And while they’re definitely a niche product, there’s a new player in the market that’s satisfying customers with its cute little panties, thanks to the fact that they’re extra absorbent and also coaster substitutes.

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Chinese Super League keeper lets in goal while getting a drink of water 【Video】

The sport of football (or soccer or whatever you want to call it) has been around for a long time and is played well around the world. As such you’d probably think you’ve seen it all by now, but the sport never ceases to surprise and amaze.

This time an incident occurred at a Chinese Super League match between Liaoning Whowin and Chongqing Lifan. With Liaoning trailing by one goal late in the second half, things were looking grim. At least they were until fate stepped in and gave Chongqing keeper Sui Weijie a parched throat at the worst possible moment…

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7-Eleven store manager writes the most sincere, desperate job ad we’ve ever seen

If you are unemployed and living in Japan, we may have found a perfect job for you. No experience is necessary, it’s a pretty safe gig and you won’t have to do anything too difficult. You will, however, be a savior, a hero, and a knight in shining armor for one overworked, stressed-out, and understaffed, 7-Eleven store manager in Tokyo.

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How hentai are YOU? Find out with this Japanese personality test!

This Japanese personality test, which is doing the rounds on Twitter this week, claims to reveal the inner workings of your subconscious by putting you in an impossible situation and asking you to choose between four equally unpleasant options.

We’re not making any claims about the accuracy of this test, but we do think it’s pretty hilarious. Join us after the jump to find out how big a pervert you are.

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Robot sumo wrestlers fire laser blasts in crazy, free-to-play horse racing browser game

Aside from having particularly large members of the animal kingdom as their stars, sumo wrestling and horse racing don’t have a whole lot in common. But the sport of kings and the sport of heavy, scantily clad men are teaming up in a cross-promotion that’s bizarre even by the standards of Japanese marketing, with Japan Sumo Derby, a free-to-play browser game filled with sumo wrestlers riding famous Japanese race horses.

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Kitties take notice: Maru the cat shows off his new, trendy walking style with cardboard box

As stated directly on our Facebook page, RocketNews24 strives to bring you the very best of “News, entertainment and wonderfully weird stuff from Japan and Asia. Oh, and cats. Obviously.”

We take those words very seriously, and what better way to live up to them than by sharing a post about cats IN Japan? Everyone, it’s time for another round of your favorite silly kitty Maru, starring in “Maru’s new walking style!”

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Neiger, the Akita superhero who’s keeping the people safe and fed by growing rice

We’ve talked before about yuru-kyara, Japan’s adorable illustrated mascots. But cute manga-style horses and anthropomorphic pears aren’t the only local spokescharacters you’ll find in Japan, as some regions of the country are also represented by “Local Heroes,” (Gotouchi Hiro in Japanese), Power Ranger or Kamen Rider-like defenders of their communities.

One of the more popular Local Heroes is Neiger, whose mission is to protect Akita Prefecture’s people, mountains, and seas. Akita is a pretty safe and sleepy part of Japan, though, and not exactly the kind of place that’s under constant threats that require a superhero-level response. So what’s he been doing with all of his downtime?

Growing rice, apparently.

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Another cat rises to internet fame, proves he can be just as stretchy as his name

What would the Internet be without cats? Yes, I am a dog-lover too, and our canine companions have their own rightful place in the worldwide web, but it is, without a doubt, the cat’s kingdom. This week’s new rising feline star is Tororo, an adorable white and orange Scottish-fold cat from Japan, who is doing an excellent job of imitating the stretchy characteristics of his namesake.

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Watch out, guys! This sumo stadium seat’s got teeth

As with a lot of very traditional, very storied sports like bullfighting or, I don’t know, bocce ball, sumo wrestling tends to attract an older demographic of spectators. In fact, kids these days aren’t even really all that interested in sumo, probably because of its near endless pre-fight ritual that often lasts many times longer than the quick, 30-second payoff of the actual bout.

But old folks, well, they’ve got all the time in the world and really love all the old-timey belly slapping and posturing, so it’s pretty common when you watch sumo on TV or even go to the stadium yourself to see the stadium filled with octogenarians. And with some older folks being a little on the forgetful side, we’d imagine there’s a large variety of forgotten items left in stadium seats…

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Fail ninja explains all the fail falls of the Internet

Watching people fall unexpectedly is our guilty little pleasure, so what could possibly make it better? How about Japan’s legendary assassins popping in at opportune moments to cause such falls? Face plants are great, but when they are caused by a ninja they become a lot funnier. Don’t take our word for it though; see the video after the jump!

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