funny

American man’s dramatic nine-second snow struggle captivates Japanese netizens 【GIFs】

Have you ever laughed at someone falling or giggled uncontrollably when your server dropped those plates all over the restaurant floor? Then you my friend, have experienced the untranslatable German word schadenfreude: taking pleasure in others’ misfortune. And there has been a whole lot of schadenfreude going around the Internet in Japan the past few days after netizens discovered a hilarious video of a poor winter-weary guy in America falling in the snow for a solid nine seconds.

Click below to see more the man’s struggle and how the Internet has made him surf, play hockey and even dodge Darth Maul’s light saber in Star Wars Episode I.

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Here’s what happens if you buy all the drinks in the combini and mix them together 【Video】

If you were ever let loose on a self-service drinks machine as a child, you’ll know the peculiar delight that comes from mixing soft drinks together. Orange soda topped up with coke? Sure! A little bit of everything? Why not! It’s an experiment in taste and colour, as wide-eyed (and later stomach-achey) kids discover, just because you like all the individual components, doesn’t mean you’ll like the end result.

Japanese YouTuber Hajime has taken this sense of childish wonder to a new level – and on an adult budget, too. He bought every single drink on sale in his local convenience store, mixed them all together, and reviewed the taste. Because, well…why not!

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How to double the value of your $10 car: Spend 30 minutes adding racing stripes!

Some of you may remember the fateful day last spring when our Japanese-language reporter Go bought what was probably the cheapest car in Japan by acquiring his current ride for just 980 yen (US $8.30). Nine months later, not only is his 1997 Mitsubishi Minica still firing on all three cylinders under its hood, but it recently passed its mandatory biennial safety inspection, called shaken in Japanese.

In celebration, Go treated the Minica to a wash for the first time since he drove it back to Tokyo from Nagoya. With a fresh coat of wax, it was looking better than ever, but Go still wasn’t 100-percent satisfied with the car’s appearance. See, Go believes the Mini is just an overall cooler car than the Minica, so he set out to transform the latter into the former using the finest vinyl sheets and magic markers he could find.

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Scheveningen or Sukebeningen? Dutch town sounds like “pervert” when pronounced in Japanese

A beautiful Dutch seaside resort has become well-known to Japanese people over the years and unfortunately it’s not due to any special campaigns or travel commercials.

It’s all due to the unfortunate way it’s written and pronounced, according to Japanese language conventions. The town is called Scheveningen, which seems innocent enough to western ears, but in Japan, the way it’s transliterated means it’s pronounced “Sukebeningen,” which happens to mean “lecherous people” in Japanese.

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How to cook pot stickers in just three seconds: Lots of garlic, lots of craziness 【Video】

I love gyoza, the pork and garlic-packed dumplings that you can find in diners, ramen joints, and grocery stores across Japan. Seriously, when the Japan Gyoza Association released an ad that was just a dude running around with a delirious grin saying, “Aha! Gyoza! Ahaha!” it seemed, to me, like the most natural reaction in the world to the little wrapped bits of deliciousness.

Really, the only complaint I have about gyoza is that I don’t have a freshly cooked batch in front of me right now. With a solution to that problem, here’s a video of how to make gyoza in just three seconds, without using a microwave.

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How relaxed are you right now, on a scale from one to Akimbo Kitty?

Oh, to be a cat, and inhabit one of those fluffy, soft, ultra-bendy bodies. It’s well-known that cats are so flexible as to be basically a liquid with fur, and what this means is that they’ve got an uncanny knack of being able to relax comfortably in the most awkward of positions. Take Akimbo Kitty, the cat from these snaps, who couldn’t be happier to be sunken into that beanbag/chair thing. Just look at those jaunty toes!

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Revenge bento show us it’s a dish best served cold (and boxed) with insults and hidden chilies

There are two advantages to the large variety of foodstuffs that go into a typical bento, or Japanese boxed lunch. Not only do they provide a diverse collection of flavors and vital nutrients, they also give aesthetically minded chefs plenty of options for arranging them in an expressive manner.

Of course, “expressive” can end up meaning very different things depending on what the bento-maker wants to express. In happy times, the result might be fun and playful chara-ben, boxed lunches that resemble popular fictional characters. But on the other end of the spectrum lie shikaeshi bento, “boxed lunches of revenge” that are as spiteful as they are creative.

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The top 10 most common shojo manga scenarios, as picked by Japanese girls’ comic fans

In broad terms, the two largest categories of Japanese comics are shonen manga (“boys’ comics”) and shojo manga (“girls comics”). Among many fans, shonen manga have a stigma of relying on the same hackneyed storytelling patterns, over and over again. There’s generally a young male protagonist who sets out to become the strongest…something (ninja, mecha pilot, and even baker have all been done to great success). Along the way, he faces off against a series of powerful rivals, many of whom become the hero’s allies after he defeats them through a combination of newly discovered techniques and the power of determination.

Shojo series, the popular logic goes, are more sophisticated, with an emphasis on interpersonal conflict and dynamics in a setting closer to the real world. That’s not to say girls’ comics in Japan can’t be just as formulaic as their shonen counterparts, though, as emphasized by a poll of the top recurring tropes in shojo manga.

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Three-year-old girl perfectly recites martial arts school’s student creed, wields tiny fists of death

Don’t be fooled by this tiny martial artist’s chubby little fists and small stature – she is almost certainly destined to be kicking ass as some kind of martial arts-themed crime fighter (maybe as, “The Taekwon-Do-Gooder”) years from now. We’re guessing she’ll probably get started with all the ass-kicking right around the age of seven.

We’re certain of all of this because we recently saw the girl – who is not named because it would interfere with her keeping a secret identity later on – absolutely destroy her martial arts school’s student creed, reciting it word-for-word in her adorable little gi and punching the air with her tiny fists with the conviction we’re only able to muster when the peanut butter jar is just slightly out of reach and we really want a sandwich.

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A simple paint trick to make your anime robot models look extra sexy

Although the RX-78 Gundam is the most famous mobile suit from the original Mobile Suit Gundam anime TV series, it’s not the only giant robot the Earth Federation has at its disposal. As a matter of fact, debuting in the very same premiere episode as the Gundam is the RX-77 Guncannon.

Still, there’s a reason the series, and franchise, is called Gundam and not Guncannon. Aside from being slower and less powerful, the Guncannon can’t compete in the looks department with the dashing Gundam. Simply put, it’s just not sexy enough…at least not without this subtle variation to its paint job with a hidden significance.

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Japan’s craziest ad ever? English school commercial as likely to make kids terrified as bilingual

The very first job that brought me to Japan as a gainfully employed adult was teaching at a private English school. While most of our customers were in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, we also offered kids’ classes, even for preschool-aged children.

With young learners, the first hurdle to get past was for them to not freak out about talking with someone from a different country. While that might sound horribly racist, there just aren’t that many opportunities to meet people from other cultures in Japan, especially in a child’s daily life, and the first meeting was usually a little intimidating for them (the company policy that didn’t allow foreign staff to speak Japanese in front of the customers probably didn’t help in this regard).

Thankfully, it usually only took a couple of minutes for the kids to see that non-Japanese instructors aren’t terrifying monsters. Unfortunately, this startling commercial for a chain of children’s English schools in Japan only takes 15 seconds to visually imply that, yes, actually, they are.

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The 11 wittiest tweets from Japanese netizens

Sometimes the Internet can be such an immense collection of humorous netizens that we are unable to take our eyes off it. In this endless battle of the wits, we came across a selection of some of the best from the Japanese Twitterverse. Check out these sharp but hilarious jabs at what would otherwise be mundane daily life, and let it brighten up your day!

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Chinese comedians pitch brilliant boyfriend-rental service to fend off nagging parents 【Video】

The Lunar New Year is China’s biggest holiday and the time when most of the country travels back home in impressive numbers, prays for luck and of course spends some quality time with family who remind their adult children why they’re failing at life. And the Spring Festival, as it’s commonly called, can be an exceptionally annoying time for single 20- and 30-somethings whose more traditional parents gripe constantly about the lack of a significant other and the every-decreasing hope of a grandchild. A Chinese comedy group put out a video recently that offers single woman a solution to this headache—a company that rents out boyfriends to impress your parents and get them off your case until the next New Year holiday.

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What if there was Photoshop in ancient China?

In this day and age, we are all very aware of how deceiving photos can be. In China, the power of Photoshop cannot be undermined as both women and men go to extreme measures to give themselves “cosmetic surgery” on their mobile phones. In fact, sometimes the pictures are so Photoshopped, they look nothing like the real deal. This rampant Photoshop phenomenon has led to this hilarious parody mocking throngs of Chinese girls who spend most of their time editing their own faces.

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North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un’s new haircut makes him look like an evil anime mecha

Whether they’re being called dear, supreme, or great, North Korea takes the image of its top leaders very seriously. After all, this is the same country which claims the late Kim Jong-il, in his first round of golf, finished 38 shots under par (in case you’re not familiar with the technical terms, one under par is a “birdie,” two under is an “eagle,” and 38 under is generally referred to as a “crock”).

So it’s a little surprising that current head of hermit state Kim Jong-un’s fashion consultants have let him rock a hairstyle that seems to perfectly gel with the rest of the world’s image of North Korean dictatorship as cartoonish supervillainry, with a ‘do that makes him look like one of the antagonist mecha from classic anime Mobile Suit Gundam.

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Help! My dad turned into a cat!

Yet another feline made rounds on Japanese internet when his owner uploaded a picture of him behaving like a worn-out middle-aged man at home, comfortably lazing on the sofa while watching the TV. He sure resembles the stereotypical image we have of exhausted oji-san (middle aged man) office workers who come home from work and end up on the couch in a slump!

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Guy’s grandpa out-nerds us all, hand-writes insanely comprehensive Dragon Quest 5 game guide

When I was a kid, all I wanted was for my dad to play Mario together with me. I remember nagging him for hours about it until he finally put down his book or whatever it was he was doing, sighed theatrically and begrudgingly played a round or two of that kinda stupid versus mode from the original games. Needless to say, I destroyed him pretty much every time.

But, even as a kid, I had a vague notion that video games were something kids and nerds did and real adults did things like go to work, cook food for kids on demand and make weird, embarrassing noises behind closed doors with other adults. And thus, as much I enjoyed playing games with Dad, if I had ever discovered that my old man had been stashing an insanely detailed set of handwritten notes serving as a strategy guide for his favorite Japanese RPG, I would have been the first to call him a nerd and give him a huge power wedgie and a swirly for being such a poindexter.

But that’s exactly what this Japanese gamer discovered when he stumbled upon his grandpa’s handwritten Dragon Quest 5 strategy notes.

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Deceased father-in-law leaves behind unusual legacy: drawings of women’s behinds

Losing loved ones is never easy, but a lot of people are able to find solace in the good memories and possessions left behind by the departed. After her father-in-law’s death, Twitter-user Aikawa Jun (@hakiinu) found some priceless treasures the man had kept hidden away in the form of his works of art… which, for some reason, all paid special attention to butts!

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Secrets of the Japanese swimsuit modeling world: Fake breasts and lots of pee

So breasts seem to be popular these days. As a matter of fact, walk into any Japanese bookshop or convenience store and you’ll find magazine racks full of photo collections of gurabia, the country’s term for sexy but not-quite-naked models. Almost always busty, the sight of gurabia posing suggestively, often while relaxing in a pool or frolicking in the surf of an island paradise, has helped generations of men in Japan through a lonely winter’s night.

But while the men who run their eyes (or whatever other body parts) over their photos are obviously enjoying an escapist fantasy, one gurabia recently revealed some things fans might rather not have known about the industry. Her claim about the prevalence of surgically enhanced breasts gels with many people’s preexisting assumptions, but what’s shocking is what she claims is the true reason for some of those sweetly seductive smiles.

In case it wasn’t clear, we’ll be talking about/showing pictures of gurabia up ahead, so unless you’re employed as a swimwear designer, this probably isn’t safe for work.

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Cats in a can (-shaped scratching station) are adorable

Japan loves its pets, and while the size of Japanese homes means the family cat or dog might not have as much space as it would in the U.S., doting owners here are perfectly happy to provide creature comforts for their creatures. Having less space in the house can make putting in a full-size scratching post for your kitty kid of tricky, though, especially if you’d like to occasionally move it out of the way for some extra floor space.

Thankfully, what these compact alternatives give up in size they make up for in cuteness, with a ring-shaped design decorated like the label of one of Japan’s most popular brands of cat food.

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