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Do you love you anime crush enough to sit on his face?
Novelty goods manufacturer Bibi Lab has been outdoing itself lately. They’ve given us everything from pillows shaped like anime pigtails, mosquito net jumpsuits and even sailor-style schoolgirl uniforms for men.
Now they’ve redesigned the concept of the huggy pillow, giving it a feminine shape and calling it the “Japanese Cotton Wife”. Available in two sizes, the manufacturers have worked particularly hard on perfecting the lady’s nude bodysuit, saying they’ve done an excellent job of making it look like it contains human muscle and subcutaneous fat. Because that’s not creepy at all…
A proper anime character huggy pillow seems to have become a critical component of the full fetish and fantasy regalia of a well-rounded otaku, but there are certain things you just can’t do with such a 2-D crush. Sure, anime girl pillows will let you squeeze them and passionately insert your sweet nothings into their non-existent eardrums, but no matter how fervently romantic you become, you can’t expect any sort of pillow talk from your pillow.
Unless, that is, you’re curled up beneath the sheets with the Ita-Supo, the first talking huggy pillow that responds to your touch with verbal responses, including angry outbursts if you get too grabby.
When you look at them a certain way, huggy pillows with pictures of cute anime girls on them are kind of creepy. Well, actually, they’re creepy in several ways, but for right now, let’s limit our discussion to one way in particular.
Even if we accept that there’s nothing wrong with consensual love between a man and his pillow, their relative sizes make the situation kind of weird. After all, a person’s height is far greater than a pillow’s length, so wouldn’t Miss Anime Pillow feel a little awkward cuddling with her much larger otaku owner?
It’d probably be a little like squeezing a gigantic anime pillow that’s six meters (19.7 feet) long. Of course, if that sounds like your personal vision of bedtop bliss, there’s a company giving away just that.
Novelty goods manufacturer Bibi Lab would like to get one thing straight. Despite appearances, its life-sized, humanoid-shaped stuffed Wata Yome and Wata Danna are not hug pillows. And while the English text in the product logo may refer to them as “body pillows,” really, the company would prefer you to think of them as “partners for lonely people.”
Let’s look at what constitutes the freaky difference.