Mr. Sato

Your turn, Samsung – Mr Sato returns the Ice Bucket Challenge to Korea’s electronics giant【Video】

The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is still going strong, thanks to its mix of suspense, physical comedy, and contributions for a worthy cause. Business and entertainment moguls from around the world have participated, and recently even inanimate objects have started taking part with Samsung’s Galaxy S5 smartphone being doused by the Korean conglomerate’s U.K. division.

As per the rules of the challenge, Samsung then exercised its right to pass the dare onto someone else, and it designated rival Apple’s iPhone 5s. A quick comparison of the spec sheets for the two competing phones has some people crying foul at singling out the iPhone 5s, though. Today, we’re offering Samsung a chance to make things right.

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Mr. Sato goes discount women’s clothes shopping and discovers a shocking secret

One day, while Mr. Sato was off-duty, he was doing some shopping around Nakano Broadway in Tokyo. This shopping plaza is sometimes called a “mecca of subculture” for its various stores peddling old books and figures. Of course, Nakano Broadway has many other shops including grocery and household item stores.

In particular, the first floor is filled with women’s clothing shops selling items at rock-bottom prices. On a complete whim Mr. Sato steered into one shop boasting every item for only 575 yen (US$5.60). As if guided by a mysterious force, Mr. Sato entered this store. Little did he know that he was being guided… by the god of rock.

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We test our iPhone’s new protective sheet against the legendary sword Excalibur

The touchscreen is both the greatest and most annoying part of a smartphone. On the plus side, you’ve got clear images, vibrant colors, and the simplicity that comes from bypassing a bunch of buttons and menus. At the same time, though, you’ve also got to deal with unsightly scratches and cracks.

We recently heard about a new protective sheet that’s supposed to be able to withstand almost any kid of abuse, so we put it to the test against a variety of damaging instruments including what one shopkeeper told us was the legendary sword Excalibur.

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Mr. Sato tries top secret rated-R fried chicken from popular Japanese convenience store

As we’ve declared before, convenience stores are one of the many things Japan gets awesomely right. And out of all the conbini in Japan, one of the greatest things housed within the walls of popular convenience store, Lawson, isn’t found on the shelves, but nestled safely behind the counter. Yes, their perfectly plump, consummately crispy fried chicken dubbed “Karaage-kun” costs a mere 210 yen (US$2.05) for hot, salty bliss. With a heart full of love for Karaage-kun, we could barely contain our jealousy upon learning that Mr. Sato, the most…unique reporter from our Japanese site, was invited to the Lawson headquarters to try out their new grilled Hokkaido corn-flavored Karaage-kun.

And so Mr. Sato marched down to crispy chicken HQ, still rocking his post-apocalyptic haircut, to try our most favorite convenience store snack. Little did he (or we) know that he would also be presented with an ultra-top-secret fried chicken unfit to be consumed by children younger than 15 years of age.

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Mr. Sato goes post-apocalyptic at Fist of the North Star event

Although now a man in his 40s, Mr. Sato has long held a special place in his heart for the Fist of the North Star series. He recalls picking up a copy of the manga 20 years ago and heading straight out to the gym for two sets of 18kg (40lbs) bench presses.

After two weeks of that, he felt he had reached his full potential, but was still nowhere near as cool as the series’ protagonist Kenshiro. Decades later came word of the Fist of North Star bi-weekly DVD collection beginning at Kinokuniya in Shinjuku. The first day of sale was to be rung in by a gathering of cosplay characters from the series. Mr. Sato’s mind raced at the possibility of truly becoming his long-time hero Kenshiro.

Just then Mr. Sato’s editor approached him saying, “Hey, you like North Star don’t you? How’d you like to go down there and cosplay as…”

“You’ve stood in my way long enough! I’m going to Shinjuku to become as awesome as Kenshiro is whether you like it or not!” shouted Mr. Sato snapping out of his daydream and crushing a paper cup in his mighty fist.

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to sa…”

Mr. Sato interjected, “You’re already dead.” He then flicked the paper cup at the editor’s forehead and walked determinedly out of the office without looking back.

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Mr. Sato celebrates Gokusen Day with one of 59 Premium Gokusen Bananas

Happy belated Gokusen Day!

What, you forgot that the first ever Gokusen Day was held last Friday (5/9 [“go-ku”]) after being created by fruit brand Dole? It’s okay, I’m sure after reading our previous announcement that little tidbit of trivia fell into the recesses of your memory banks along with the dates of International Lefthanders Day (8/13) and World Wetlands Day (2/2).

That’s sad news, however, because you missed the chance to pick up one of the limited edition 59 Gokusen Premium Bananas sold for one day only. Of course, if it’s limited our own Mr. Sato will be there to get one. He even goes out in search of certain strains of influenza that are available for a limited time only.

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Mr. Sato takes on Family Mart’s “All-You-Can-Eat Convenience Store Challenge!”

Imagine if you had ten minutes to run amuck in a convenience store and could eat whatever you wanted and as much of it as you could. Now imagine it’s a Japanese convenience store where the unwritten rule is: If you can’t find something you want to eat, you aren’t hungry.

Our well-seasoned convenience store correspondent Mr. Sato had just gotten such an experience recently in the FamilyMart booth at Niconico Super Party III, but discovered that an all-you-can-eat convenience store experience isn’t without its difficulties.

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Our Japanese staff try British cup noodles, didn’t completely hate the experience

Throughout the world, Britain is known for many things–great music, excellent literature, and sexy men. One thing the country isn’t known for, though, is their good food. In fact, if you ask nearly anyone what they think of British food they’ll probably stick their tongues out and make gagging noises.

It’s a bit unfair, but even in Tokyo–where you can find restaurants serving cuisine from all over the globe–the closest you’ll find to British food is a pub. Although, we have to admit, our friends from the Queen’s country at least know how to serve a good drink.

Recently, though, Mr. Sato and Yoshio, both writers for the Japanese side of RocketNews24, got their hands on a carton of Pot Noodle, a brand of instant noodles so awful “it was voted the ‘most hated brand’ in the UK in a 2004 poll.” And what did our Japanese colleagues think of these awful noodles?

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Mr. Sato sacrifices his hands on the altar of all-you-can-eat shrimp

We all have foods that we love perhaps a little more than we should, but for Mr. Sato, a man whose love of food in general has taken him on many a colorful, abdomen-abusing adventure risking his health and even his sanity, the gustatory passion that tops all others is shellfish. So when he headed off to report on an all-you-can-eat shrimp restaurant for us, we feared for his life.

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People of the world, brace yourselves: Mr. Sato… has a twin!

You’ve seen his antics on our pages for years now, and he’s always our go-to guy when there’s a mission that the rest of us simply aren’t brave enough to undertake. We’re talking, of course, about our loveable, adventurous, charming, sometimes frightening in-house reporter Mr. Sato.

But did you know, dear reader, that Mr. Sato actually has a twin brother!? Just look at that photo–we bet you’d struggle to say which of the two is our reporter and which is the brother!

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【TBT】Badass full metal rubber band guns: We visit factory for some shooting practice

Give a young boy a rubber band and chances are he’ll try and find a way to fling it across the room. The more ingenious of them will use resources like clothespins, popsicle sticks or Legos to craft a rubber band gun (here in Japan, many of us use disposable chopsticks). And, when they’ve grown up and gained access to all the big-kid toys, some of them will make an arsenal of semi automatic rubber band firearms from aluminum and stainless steel.

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Mr. Sato shows us how a real man opens his snacks 【Video】

The intense competition in the Japanese snack food market means that every week some product is getting kicked off convenience store shelves to make room for another one. Somehow, though, the puffed corn snack umaibo has remained consistently popular for over 30 years.

Umaibo’s biggest fans are elementary school kids, and the tasty little cylinders were a major component of some of our writer’s childhood diets. Recently we came to the realization that it’s time for us to grow up, though. Not by giving up our umaibo, of course, but by learning to open our snacks like a man.

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Adding a mosaic makes almost anything NSFW

Ah, the power of the mosaic – that little clump of pixels used by news networks to blur out the faces of anonymous sources and by Japanese porn producers to conceal people’s sexy parts. They can pretty convincingly hide most sensitive visuals from public scrutiny, while still offering us just a little tantalizing glimpse of the features beneath.

They can also, it turns out, serve as a pretty good litmus test for how gutter-minded you are; because when applied to everyday scenes, such as chefs preparing meals, athletes celebrating victories, even something as innocuous as folks making pottery, the scenes are suddenly transformed into something that appear, at first glance, much dirtier than they should.

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Mr. Sato takes a stroll in his USB Pollen Blocker: “Felt great but it was a struggle to order coffee”

A few days ago we brought word of a revolutionary hay fever remedy from the folks at Thanko. Harnessing the mighty power of nylon and universal serial bus ports, the USB Pollen Blocker may be our savior for this impending allergy season in Japan.

To be sure, we picked one up in Akihabara and gave it to our resident ace-reporting guinea-pig Mr. Sato for a road test. Did it cure him of his seasonal sniffles or did it simply make him look like an demented bee-keeper on the streets of Tokyo? The following is his report.

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AKB48 to hold exclusive show for coffee contest winners, Mr. Sato immediately buys over 300 cans

Recently the walls of the RocketNews24 office have been echoing with giddy squeals of “Eeeeeee… Takamina!” at a rate of about once per hour. In between, we have been treated to a middle-aged man’s song-stylings of AKB48’s single Koisuru Fortune Cookie.

It all started last year when our reporter Mr. Sato had entered a dance contest to meet graduating AKB48 member Tomomi Itano, but despite his best efforts he lost out. Now, he has his sights on Minami Takahashi (“Takamina”) and the chance to see her and other members in an exclusive show only available to the winners of a contest held by Japan’s Wonda Coffee.

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Suicide cakes – Sweets to die for

Among the many kinds of tasty sweets indigenous to Japan, you’ll find the monaka. Monaka consist of two wafers, traditionally sandwiched around a dollop of the sweet red bean paste called anko.

Different confectioners put their own unique spin on monaka, such as infusing it with citrus or mixing ice cream in the filling. But while we’ve eaten plenty of variations on the tasty treat, our intrepid reporter Mr. Sato recently brought back one we’d never heard of before: suicide monaka.

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We give Mr. Sato a Gyro Bowl: Can it withstand even his creepiest undulations?

It’s a little known yet unsurprising fact that Mr. Sato loves a nice bowl of potato chips. However, much to the chagrin of his colleagues, he loves them so much that he begins to flail his limbs around wildly when he gets some.

After brushing the crumbs off the keyboards and shopping around online, the rest of the RocketNews24 staff found Gyro Bowl. For only 2,480 yen (US$24) this German-engineered bowl boasts a full 360° of spill prevention. All that combined with Mr. Sato’s inherent love of orange spinny stuff made this purchase a no-brainer. When the bowl arrived it was time to fire up the cameras and see how Gyro Bowl held up to Mr. Sato’s chip dance of joy.

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【Thursday Throwback】Tokyo snow cones! Mr. Sato makes the most of the city snow before it melts

On Monday this week, Tokyo was hit by one of the biggest snow dumps it has seen in years. Although winters are often unfathomably cold in Japan and it’s not uncommon for snow to fall even in the capital, the city of cuddle cafes, cornman and cross-dressing was entirely unprepared for so much of the stuff in such a short space of time, and within 24 hours of the snow’s arrival the ordinarily robust public transport system was on its knees and dozens of people were left nursing twisted ankles, bruised buttocks and hurt pride.

Just two days later, though, the generous blanket of white fluffy stuff had started to disappear, putting an end to all sledding, snowman building and frosty fun. As quickly as it had arrived, Tokyo’s winter wonderland was already nearly gone.

From the topmost floor of Rocket Towers, international man of mystery and reporter extraordinaire Mr. Sato watched as men with shovels worked to clear the last of the snow from the pavements and miniature mountains began to appear on each street corner, adorning the footways like dollops of sweet white frosting around the edge of a miserable grey cake. It was at that moment that a quite remarkable idea hit him.

Zipping up his wind breaker and grabbing his wallet, Mr. Sato charged out of the office like a man possessed and flew down the stairs. Bursting out of the building, he headed directly for the nearest supermarket. Moments later, he stepped back out onto the city streets armed with three bottles of thick, sugary syrup. Things were about to get tasty.

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Sexy sapphire Santas smoothly shave Sato’s stubble

It’s been said that Christmas in Japan is for lovers, and that’s bad news for someone like our Mr. Sato. That’s not to say he’s unlucky with the ladies, but whenever he goes in for that first kiss his prickly stubble never fails to repel them.

However, Christmas is also a time for miracles, and while walking through the Akihabara streets last week, a blue Oasis appeared before him. Staffed by several sexy women clad in cute blue Santa outfits stood the Gillette Skin Diagnosis Event.

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Mr. Sato celebrates Japan’s Good Meat Day by taking on Burger King’s all-you-can-eat Whopper deal

There may not have been any Thanksgiving festivities in Japan this past week, but the Japanese language’s ample opportunities for puns gave us two special days to celebrate. Coming on the heels of Knee-High Socks Day was the equally pun-tastic Good Meat Day on November 29.

Good Meat Day gets its name by breaking the date into its individual digits of 1-1-2-9, which can be read as ii niku, literally “good meat.” We decided the best way to commemorate our carnivorous cravings was by hitting Burger King to catch the tail-end of their all-you-can-eat burger promotion.

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