“Hyper Penis Ranking” Website Asks Japan’s Men to Measure Up and Rank In

We promised you more “WTF?” in 2013 and we’re delivering it. Get the kids out of the room and be sure that your mother is busy dusting the cat; the men of the world are about to remove their pants and measure their manhood in the name of science.

Regular readers will know that we’ve given breasts more than their fair share of column inches here on RocketNews24, so it’s only fair that penises – ever the source of locker-room anxiety, bravado and ridicule – come under the spotlight for a while.

When it comes to size, the only thing that concerns men anywhere near as much as women’s breasts is their own manhood and how they compare against the competition. But short of spending too much time in public restrooms and sneaking sly glances at those either side of him (n.b. not advised), how is a man to know where he stands in the world? When he takes a lover to bed for the first time, how is he to know whether to expect gasps of awe or spirit-crushing chuckles?

Well, thanks to this website that contains literally millions of measurement entries, there’s a safer way for both curious and cocksure (sorry) men alike to know just where they rank in the trouser department.

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China Develops Innovative Method to Measure Manhood

The other day I was smoking a cigar while driving my Hummer with a gun rack in the back when I saw a pretty young lady walking along.  I asked if she’d like to head down to the shooting range, but she replied “no thanks, micropenis!”

Taken aback, I screamed, “How did you know?!”

“Ancient Chinese secret,” she said with a wink.

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