wtf

What are Japan’s Twitter users talking about today? Llamas? Dresses? Nope! Cups of urine! (Kinda)

This week has been a busy one for the Internet. We suppose the Internet is always busy, but it seems like we’ve reached peak Internet wackiness what with all the rampaging llamas, baffling dresses, superpowered fishes, and Sesame Street parodying House of Cards. So, by now, you might be thinking that it’s time to give the Internet a break and maybe settle down with a good book.

But before you do, you might want to see the hilarious tweet that’s taken Twitter by storm in JapanUrine for a real treat!

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Creepy news: Estimate a complete stranger’s breast size with this new plastic folder!

“Oh Japan.” It’s a phrase you hear pretty much anytime something boob-related is brought up. Like the breast exercise hand, the oppai mousepad, the iPhone boob-squeezer, and of course, straight-up virtual reality breast-groping.

But in all fairness, even though all those products are a little bizarre, at least they’re meant to be used in private. However the latest product released by Soft on Demand, adult video distributor and owner of a chain of adult shops in Japan, seems like it would only be used on strangers: it’s a clear plastic folder with a chart to estimate the breast size of a woman standing nearby you when viewed from the side.

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Netizens get creative with ice cube trays shaped like BIGBANG singer’s nose and mouth

Idol and boy band merchandise comes in many forms, and some if it is downright weird. Take, for example, this official ice cube tray set shaped like the schnozz and kisser of K-pop vocalist and BIGBANG member Daesung, aka D-LITE in Japan. No, we’re not making this up! In fact, this particular piece of plastic pop memorabilia has really got netizens excited, with many taking to Twitter to showcase the “creations” they have made through the use of certain materials in tandem with the ice cube tray. Join us for a variety of disturbing flared nostrils and pouty lips after the jump!

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Tenga toy-themed robots take over Valentine’s Day 【Pics】

At first glance, they seem like Transformers, or perhaps unusually flashy Gundam. Then you notice the color scheme, followed by a number of cylindrical trimmings and its unusual shape. “I feel like I’ve seen that somewhere before…” you wonder to yourself. Then it clicks. “Oh.”

While Tenga toys may not be the first thing that comes to mind when one thinks “Valentine’s Day,” some highly imaginative artists capitalized on the romantic holiday to recast the popular adult products as robots. Don’t think of them as mere joke drawings, however; these creations are the real deal. We take a look at some of the spectacular art below.

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Kim Jong-un Golf: the game where every shot is a hole-in-one

In the online game Kim Jong Golf, players must carefully line up a moving bar in order to pull off the perfect shot. Right on the money? Hole in one! Miss completely? Doesn’t matter. Hole in one! Hang on…

Whether on a snowy mountaintop or rolling fields, players hit every shot with superhuman accuracy and grace. Then again, such things are to be expected when your character is the Glorious Leader.

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The most intense, death-defying military training exercises from around the world

Jumping through a ring of fire. Breaking bricks with your head. Drinking cobra blood.

Those are some examples of what troops from around the world go through as part of military training.

Check out more intense exercises in the following gallery.

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The next dating sim from Japan features million-year-old grannies and high school drama

It’s no secret that dating sims in Japan have become a bit strange recently. From the meat-based dating sim to the alpaca dating sim to the recent sumo dating sim which features pretty much everyone but realistic-looking sumo wrestlers, it’s clear that pop will eat itself and dating sims will parody themselves.

But an upcoming dating sim set to debut on both Android and iOS devices soon is taking things to a whole new Harold and Maud level: The subjects of your affection will be grannies–million-year-old grannies to be exact!

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Hideous werebeast “attacks” Indonesian palm oil plant workers 【Video】

In what might be the first ever case of one of those viral cryptozoological animal videos actually being real, a bunch of Indonesian palm oil plant workers recently recorded a run-in with some sort of crazy-looking, hairless werebeast that supposedly charged them.

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“Sorry, Grandma, I thought you were the devil…” – Korean game addiction ad is painfully stupid

The South Korean government recently released a video warning the general public about the dangers of video game addiction. The 25-second ad, which has already been edited and re-released following complaints about its content, shows the ways in which overexposure to video games can adversely affect the mental health of otherwise healthy young men and women.

It’s also spectacularly stupid.

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Real horses too much hard work for you? Why not get yourself a robo-horse! 【Video】

A farmer and self-proclaimed invention-addict from China decided to create a more economical replacement for the common horse - one that doesn’t require any food or daily care. While this mechanical horse won’t be winning races any time soon, it does get some points for creativity! See it in action after the jump.

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The most annoying people you’ll meet at a Japanese fitness gym, illustrated (badly) 【Pics】

Before we even get into this, there’s something I have to say in the interest of full disclosure: I’m a bit of a gym rat and I have more than a little bit of a bone to pick with Japanese gym etiquette, so apologies if I sound a little harsh or gripe-y, and/or you feel the strong wind of me chucking dumbbells in frustration throughout this article.

Having experienced the joy and wonder of numerous American gyms – often 24 hours, never too crowded, always sprawling and well-equipped, cheap and usually never exceeding more than two elderly men gleefully prancing naked through the locker room at any one time – you can imagine the soul crushing disappointment I felt upon coming to Japan and realizing that even the best gyms routinely exceed US$150 a month to use, rarely stock all the equipment you’ll need, and are generally populated exclusively by old dudes who spend 10 minutes chatting up their buddies while sitting on the only bench in the place, and the rest of their “workout” enthusiastically blow-drying their testicles in the locker room.

The only small consolation I have is that, apparently, one of the gym-frequenting writers at Japanese sister site is similarly miffed by the myriad annoyances of Japanese gyms… and he’s even been kind enough to sit down and badly sketch out all the craziest folks who’re likely to ruin your workout:

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Smartphone maker HTC launches smack-talking rap video, leaves us quite literally asking “WTF?”

“Y’all can’t be serious man,” HTC’s painfully awkward rap video begins as the beat kicks in. And, for a second there, we kind of wondered the exact same thing ourselves.

Released last week by Taiwanese (high) tech company HTC, “Hold the Crown” is an ultra-low budget battle-rap dedicated to the self-proclaimed “king” of smartphones, the HTC One M8, and calling out rivals the iPhone 6 and Samsung’s Galaxy. It’s one of the most baffling yet brilliant things we’ve ever seen.

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Man learns how to play Super Mario World… with his nose and a recorder【Video】

By now we have pretty established that video-streaming site Niconico is in its own league when it comes to innovation…or pure weirdness. However, we are still constantly amazed by the unique ideas extremely creative Niconico users put up on the internet. Think you’re good at Super Mario World? This particular Mario Master has decided to up the game by playing Mario using…a recorder. Sorry, no; recorder with his nose.

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Fatal traffic accident in China leaves tour bus ‘topless’

Noticed anything odd about this bus? Yep, it’s ‘topless’, though it definitely shouldn’t be.

It was reported that this unfortunate tour bus in Tian Jin, China had its roof shaved off on January 26 when it drove right into a height-limit gate without stopping, turning it into a horror movie version of an open-top London tour bus.

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The first videos ever shared on YouTube & Niconico leave us feeling rather… confused? 【Videos】

If the internet is a part of your everyday life, as it is for billions of others around the globe, then you are probably no stranger to video-sharing giant YouTube. There you can find videos of pretty much anything that interests you, watch news and events from around the world, take a peek at other people’s lives through their vlogs, learn new skills through how-to videos, or squee over countless cute animal videos. If you’re bored, nothing passes the time quite like getting lost in a YouTube black hole, where one interesting video leads to another, and another, and yet another…

Not quite as well-known, but still very successful in its own right, is Niconico (formerly NicoNico Douga), essentially the Japanese version of YouTube, though the website is also available in English and Taiwanese. What is unique about Niconico is the ability it gives users to add comments which are then overlaid directly on the video and synced to a specific playback time, which often become as entertaining as the video itself.

Both sites have billions of videos for a lifetime’s worth of entertainment, but have you seen the oldest videos of them all?

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‘Rassun Gorerai: English version’ is even more oddball than the original 【Video】

Humour can be so dependent on the language and culture of its country of origin, that it easily gets lost in translation. But what happens when you try to translate nonsense? That’s what Satoshi Castro has tried to do with his English version of comedy duo 8.6sec Bazooka’s ‘Rassun Gorerai’, the hit chanting-dance routine that’s racked up 9 million views on YouTube so far.

If you’re scratching your head trying to figure out what that title rassun gorerai means, you’re in luck – it doesn’t mean anything! So how will this catchy Japanese comedy song work in English? Join us after the jump to find out!

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Seriously unlucky Chinese man takes an actual arrow to the knee while doing laundry

If you’re one of those people who is plagued by bad luck, then you’ll know that disaster can strike anytime, anywhere. One man from Changsha in China’s Hunan Province learned this the hard way recently when an arrow flew out of nowhere and lodged itself in his knee while he was minding his own business hanging out laundry.

Warning: this report contains an image which some readers may find squirm-inducing!

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Eat for free at this restaurant in China…but only if you’re beautiful enough!

It is common for such establishments as restaurants and movie theatres to offer student discounts, senior discounts, and the like to its patrons, and one Tokyo bar even offers balding gentlemen money off their booze. But one restaurant in China has decided to offer a free meal only to those deemed beautiful enough.

Each person has their own tastes and preferences of what they find attractive, so if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, how does the restaurant go about judging who gets their dinner gratis?

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Enjoy delicious pork sandwiches served to you by the manager of this katsu joint…who is also a pig

We’ve already talked at length about the complex feelings we have whenever we see an anthropomorphic mascot for a food joint shucking his own kin as delicious, greasy human grub. We bet you can’t even count the number of times you’ve walked by a chicken joint whose crazily grinning avian mascot was holding up a bucket of deep-fried drumsticks, or a contented pig sitting down – fork, knife, bib and all – to a barbecue rib feast and never really thought much of it.

Well, if the usually slapdash, cartoonish mascot on the sign of your local wing joint wasn’t in-your-face enough to disturb you with implications of animal cannibalism and the idea that you might just be eating animal protein that was once a creature with enough intelligence to talk and use kitchen utensils, maybe this Kanazawa, Japan pork restaurant ostensibly managed by a live, miniature pig is just the thing to kickstart your conscience, you monster.

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Meet the girl who’s wrapped up in dreams of sushi

If you’ve been captivated by a bizarre breed of sushi cats or fallen in love with a cup-clinging girl called Fuchiko, chances are you’ll soon be swooning over a young lady who likes to hang out inside pieces of sushi.

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